Tuesday, July 22, 2014

the bachelorette: MEN TELL ALL!

You guys, I'm fighting a nasty cold and have an important meeting in the morning, so I'm going to get through this recap as quickly as possible.  Was it just me or were the most interesting parts of the Men Tell All the moments that had absolutely nothing to do with Blandi?  In fact, the most exciting part of the entire two hours was the Bachelor in Paradise trailer which literally looks more suspenseful and unpredictable than Game of Thrones.  I mean, someone gets ARRESTED on the show.  And one-armed Sarah finally gets to make out!  Anyway: here are the top ten highlights...

Monday, July 21, 2014

why you should send his ex a THANK YOU card

Dudes: you know what the most agonizing part of a break-up is for a woman?  It's not the fear that we'll never meet anyone who loves us again.  It's not the depressing fact that we have to find someone else that we feel comfortable enough with to walk from the bedroom to the bathroom butt-naked.  It's not even the fact that we'll no longer have a plus-one to take to our friend's wedding or to our work holiday parties.  It's that all the effort we put into the relationship was FOR NOTHING.  And that the person who will reap the benefits of all our hard work is your new girlfriend.  That fucking bitch.

Friday, July 18, 2014

BLOW OFF song of the day: Knowing Me, Knowing You by ABBA

I'm sorry, but ABBA wrote the best break up songs ever.  This is just a fact.

No more carefree laughter
Silence ever after
Walking through an empty house, tears in my eyes
Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye

Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(This time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this time
I have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do.
-ABBA, 1977

Thursday, July 17, 2014

digital dating & the BLOW OFF

Editor's note: This was a very exciting week for the BLOW OFF.  Not only did we receive an email from a sixteen year old girl in the UK asking us for love advice, but we also received an email from-- wait for it-- a DUDE!!!  It turns out, men get blown off too.  And it upsets them.  And they eat ice cream.  Who knew?  Anyway, I love this post from one of our new male readers out in Boston.  Enjoy! 

I'm a mid-30's dude, been on and off the online dating scene over the last few years, gotten a couple of relationships out of it, met mostly good people, given out my share of uncomfortable shoot-downs and received my share as well. So it goes with "the dating process."

But the blow off blows my mind.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Nothing reeks worse than desperation

Someone needs to tell that to Robin Thicke.  Ever since his wife Paula Patton left him, he's been on this strange quest to win her back by publicly declaring in concerts and live performances that he misses her and he's sorry-- all the while a sign behind him lights up and spells out PAULA.  He even named his album after her.  Wow.  How the mighty have fallen after having topless chicks danced off rhythm behind them in the Blurred Lines video.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

the bachelorette & the BLOW OFF: episode 9

You guys.  I had more fun watching the live feed of Sean and Catherine's empty wedding night suite than I did watching last night's episode of The Bachelorette.  I would officially like to make a public apology to Ali Fedosomething and Ashley Cupcake Hebert for anything negative I may have said about them during their reign as the Bachelorette.  Compared to Blandi Dorkman those two ladies were even more entertaining than that cat riding around on the roomba.