Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Blow Off the Show Off



I once ran into this guy I barely knew on the streets of the UES. He had asked for my number months ago and never called. When he ran into me he claimed he lost his phone and invited me to come over for a bbq with him and his roommates. I was single in the city so i thought why not? When I showed up at his apartment he was cooking up a storm. When he was done with his dish I asked if we were going up to the roof deck to bbq with his roomies.

Nope.

He had me follow him into his bedroom.

Scene:
- 2 chairs, 1 small table
- dim lighting, candles lit
- portable waterfall thingy plugged into his wall
- dave matthews playing in the background
- fake bear rug sprawled on the floor

Food:
- oysters
- asparagus
- soft shell crab
- strawberries with whipped cream

Sounds like the perfect date IF this was supposed to be a date. The whole thing was way too much for me. Plus I felt like he pulled one over on me. Plus plus who has a portable water fall thingy? Plus plus plus who serves strawberries with whipped cream?? Plus + + + who sets up dinner in their bedroom? Someone who wants to get laid. No chance. I never called him back after that.

2 comments:

  1. this post is hilarious, why is it always the guys we don't like that pull shit like this??

    ReplyDelete
  2. unbelievable. hysterical. dave matthews band? rose petals all over the bed would have made this even more +++.

    ReplyDelete