Friday, October 8, 2010

Best of the BLOW OFF: Confessions of a Dangerous Blow Off

Hilarious story from one of our readers at the blow off. Thank you to this brave soul for sharing a story where he did the blowing off:

"So, I had a flirtatious thing going on with this girl in a summer study abroad program in London, but other than once when we hung out alone (a trip to read at the park that had no kissing involved), it was mostly just group trips to bars and clubs where we'd get drunk and flirt a lot. During the trip, she mentioned that she had a blog, but that she wasn't willing to share the address with anyone. Well, one day when I was using the computers in the lobby of the hotel where all the study abroad students were staying, I noticed that her blog address was stored in the memory of the browser.

Before I continue though, I'm going to ask that you take it easy on me, because I realize that most of the people writing on this blog are girls and my sister gave me major shit when I told her that I actually read the blog. Plus, I might kind of sound like the asshole guy in this thing, so I'm going to keep this anonymous and just be honest.

Ok, so it turns out that in reading the blog I learned that I was code named Mr. Orange and that there was a lot written about me on it.

Now, to preface, this was a period where I was in a major slump and my self-esteem was totally in the gutter. And said girl whose blog I was reading listed a bunch of times when she thought it was obvious I was flirting with her, how excited she was, and how she thought I was super cute. She actually also mentioned that all the other girls on the trip did so too! It felt really nice to hear this, but this was still an emotionally needy time for me.
Anyways, her flight back to the states was a day before mine and when she got back she called me from L.A. asking me if I could bring the black Swarovski umbrella she left behind in the hotel lobby. Not knowing what a Swarovski umbrella was, I picked up the first crappy umbrella I found in the lost and found and assuming it was the right one (my hipster friend just kind of shrugged when I asked him if it was a Swarovski or not), I brought it with me. When I got back to L.A (with the wrong umbrella) we arranged for me to bring it to her and to go out for some drinks as well. Sure enough, we went out, got drunk and ended up making out.

A couple days later I was leaving L.A. for grad school so I didn't get a chance to see her before leaving again, but we started talking a lot when I got to school. It was mostly on the internet, but after a few weeks we even started talking on the phone on a somewhat regular basis. Well, this whole time I had access to her blog and started seeing that she was getting REALLY into me (posting AIM transcripts we had, or writing about telephone conversations etc).

At this point I started feeling really guilty and wanted to find a way to end things, but without using the b.s. excuse about it being because of the distance. Actually, now that I think on it, I had already mentioned the distance thing as something that would make it impossible for us to be together, but in reading her blog it was very obvious she wasn't taking it seriously. And plus, we were talking a lot at this point. I was at school, feeling kind of lonely and inundated with work so I just kind of went with it. In hindsight, I'm sure she would have been just fine if I had just used a standard excuse to break things off, but since I'm terrible at moving on myself, I decided it'd be better for her to hate me than to keep thinking on how things would play out (I would be visiting L.A. on a regular basis, after all).

So, sure enough, my dumbass came up with what was probably the worst idea ever. I decided that one day in our conversations, when she asked how I was, I would just casually mention that I was feeling really down because an ex-girlfriend I really cared for didn't want to get back with me. In addition to all the stuff about me thinking it'd be easier for her this way, I kind of rationalized it by thinking, hey technically we're only talking as friends on the phone anyways.

Go ahead, take a moment to think of all the proper adjectives you need to describe how dumb a move that was -- She certainily did. The next day on her blog she went on a rant about how much of an idiot I am, how insensitive I was, and how dumb men are in general. I felt awful--still kind of do--but it seemed like such a noble thing to do at the time."


  1. i am at a coffee shop right now and everyone is staring at me cause i am peeing my pants reading this.

    not literally, but i am laughing VERY LOUD.

    hey dude, let this be a lesson learned: at least now you know what a Swarovsky umbrella looks like.

  2. i visited your site n was good enough then othere site that i visited last month

    study abroad