Friday, December 11, 2009

SAF: Adultery and the Ultimate Blow Off

I've been sitting on this post for a week now, partly because I didn't want to jump on the Tiger is a Cheater! bandwagon and bring any more attention to this than it already has; and also because I don't have any personal cheating stories, so I wondered if I have any right to contribute to this subject.

But this can't be avoided any longer. Just this morning there was a buxom blond on The Today Show, talking intimately with Meredith about her affair with Tiger that lasted over a year.

Also announced: Jenny Sanford, wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, has filed for divorce, unable to reconcile their marriage after he admitted to an affair with an Argentinian woman this past summer.

While these extra-marital affairs in the limelight really shouldn't reflect our own lives, there is a level of fascination to them. I guess it's the idea that it can happen to any of us.  

Hester Prynne wore the large letter "A" on her chest every day and was practically exiled from society for having an illegitimate child. Jackie stuck it out with JFK-- but there was always a haunting sadness about her (can't say that it had anything to do with the affairs, but one can speculate). Hillary stayed with Bill and... ran for POTUS. If that ain't the ultimate middle finger, I don't know what is.

What will Elin do? She supposedly hurled a cell phone at Tiger, knocking out a tooth. HELL YAH! That's a sureshot for women everywhere, who have had to bear the brunt of cheaters. They say that Tiger is up to 10 lovers, and they've only been married for FIVE YEARS.

That said, I'm also a firm believer that no one can ever really judge what goes on in relationships-- it's really nobody's business but the two people who are in it. To tear Tiger's career apart over this and go on national television to divulge intimate details is appalling. It also just boggles my mind that this has turned to subject of major racial debates.*

The biggest question for me though, is why those with a wandering eye even decide to get married. Why not just date for the rest of your life? Or have an open marriage? Some sort of standing agreement re transgressions? Have we learned nothing from BIG LOVE?

All told, is infidelity-- whether you're married or in a committed, monogamous relationship-- the ULTIMATE BLOWOFF, through the ages?

*In contrast to the hateful rantings of Mr. Rush L., here's a great article on the preconceptions of angry black women, and how Elin has flipped it on its head by "going ghetto" on Tiger.

Kayoko currently lives in Cupertino, CA. She is a waiter, bartender, and founder of the food blog UMAMIMART. Meet her back here every Friday for her weekly column, SAF, where she explores the world of singledom in the suburbs.

1 comment:

  1. Great post, K. I think people who cheat still get married, because they want the best of both worlds. They want the stable partner that's always there for them along with the experience of raising kids + having a wild sex life with other people. ugh, cheaters suck.