Monday, November 30, 2009
I once had a mutual blow off with a guy at the six month mark. Here were some signs that I needed to get off the pot so to speak.
*I was lonely when I started dating him. Two of my best friends were in serious relationships and I'd just learned the last guy I really liked was madly in love with someone else. Thus, my standards were a little low.
*He broke out his anti-depressants at brunch the morning after our first overnight date. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with taking meds, but it's not necessarily something you need to whip out right off the bat.
*He was 25 and lived with his parents. Not necessarily a deal breaker, but a lot harder to swallow if the person has NEVER lived away from home. To be fair, he did move into an apartment with friends three months in.
*I knew I would never introduce him to my parents and had a panic attack after I met his.
*He had an abnormal amount of earwax build up, yet he was totally OCD about germs.
*He'd never tried mussels. This might sound totally snobby, but I can't get with guys who aren't adventurous when it comes to food.
*I actually told him that I knew I would never fall in love with him.
*I couldn't get past his high water pants. I swear the guy wore clothes that fit him ten years ago, but at the time practically looked like capris and midriff baring tops.
I'm sure he had a long list of reasons I was wrong for him too. We mutually decided to end things and I was practically giddy after it was over. But, before long, loneliness set in and I actually missed the guy. I guess sometimes we're willing to overlook a lot in exchange for a little companionship. And even if the companion is all wrong, it can still be hard getting used to being alone again. I'm glad I was brave enough to fly solo though, otherwise, I'd be in a six year relationship with a guy who didn't use Q-tips.
Here's the long and short of it. Met the guy at the infamous 7B bar in the east village. He struck up a conversation like most guys i've met in bars, do--- "i like your nose ring." i was going through a break up (story coming soon), so i t was game on.
i usually judge a guy by how well they get my sarcasm and sassy wit (throw me a bone, this is a story of how i got rejected, i need to build myself up too). this guy had almost as witty responses to my amazingly awesome one-liners. i mean, awesome folks.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Spoiler alert: this is act three climax of the movie! it's seriously fucked up and really violent, so if you don't like blood, watch at your own risk.
Trivia: In the movies original ending, Glenn Close commits suicide and makes it look like Michael Douglas killed her. Test audiences hated it and they re-shot the ending.
P.S. Gotta love how ineffective guys are at the end of thrillers. Is it just me or does the wife have to clean up the mess everytime? And you know Michael Douglas didn't get down on his hands and knees with the Comet to clean that bathroom.
P.P.S. This movie gives bathtubs a bad rap.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
When i'm on the fence, this is just the comment that makes it all crystal clear. It could have meant a few things, delivered in a number of tones, but all i read was unattractive desperation.
It's so over. But how exactly can i say that? I did what any man does when faced with a challenging question: say as little as possible without actually lying. I waited it out. Silence speaks louder than words.
After four hours I finally wrote back, Let's talk tonight, respectably not wanting to broach the poetic subject like a twelve year old girl. I get an immediate response, Waiting till tonight sounds painful, if you don't want to see me again, just say so. Ok, then: I appreciate the time we had together but...
What can i say, she made me do it."
Maybe Jack was living in a fantasy world or Ennis needed to just man up. Either way, when it comes to this particular blow off, we think SOCIETY deserves the blame.
xoxo Heath Ledger :(
Monday, November 23, 2009
From one of our readers:
not a blow-off, per se, but i got the "how do you feel about sharing me" talk last night from my latest vixen.
My response was, I hope she meant sharing her with you and another woman. Nope. This was just her nice and respectful way of saying "I'm seeing other people, buddy."
I don't know, if a guy said this to me I would kick him out of my house. Our reader had her spend the night.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
"I met this guy on Match.com a few months ago. He’s a cop in orange county (lives in Huntington Beach). Nice looking guy in his pictures. We exchanged emails for a while and then exchanged numbers and had some phone conversations. He only works 4 days/week and usually on the weekends, so we decided to meet for dinner on a Tuesday night in Santa Monica. I told him he could meet me in front of my building after I got home from work. I see him walking down the street and he’s clearly much bigger than the pictures I saw. To be fair, he told me that he had put on some weight because he had been out on disability due to a back injury. He told me he gained 15 pounds. This was clearly more than 15 pounds.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Girl (30yo) says, "I have a theory. Basically, I am suspicious of guys who are over 30 and still single. There must be something wrong with them."
Guy (31yo) says, "Funny you should say that cause guys think the same thing about girls."
Irony being that my girlfriend totally thought that this "Over 30 Rule" applied only to guys, and not girls at all. She used to say to me, "It's different for girls..."
I'm so fucked.
Correction: WE ARE ALL FUCKED.
Here's the question that haunts me when i go to sleep at night: Ben or Noel?
Based on my heart palpitations during Scott Speedman sightings in LA, I usually lean towards Team Ben. But mostly, i just love Felicity. Below is the scene where she decides to blow Ben off instead of pretending she's cool with keeping things casual. That takes super human strength.
P.S. I love how it always feels like they're whispering on this show!! P.P.S. just for fun there's a cheesy ben and felicity montage from youtube, enjoy!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Here's the set up--- the good friend, let's call her JANE was moving away from LA and our reader, let's call her BETTY was planning a good bye dinner for her. When Jane flaked on the good bye dinner, she emailed and suggested rescheduling. The next day, before Jane had a chance to respond, she got another email from Betty bitching her out for not responding yet. (Side note, Jane is a new mom to a six month old son and responding to emails isn't exactly her first priority these days.) Jane wrote back and explained to Betty that she'd been busy with her baby and that unfortunately, she couldn't make the new time/date Jane had suggested for their dinner.
What followed was this response from Jane:
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, Aug 28, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Our friendship has run it's (pathetic, one-sided) course.
I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.
I certainly don't "hate your guts," but have filed you under "fair weather friend," which/whom I no longer have room for in my life.
End of discussion; no need to reply-- you're henceforth blocked.
Sent from iPhone
but all of us at the blow off are inspired by Michael J. Fox's and Tracy Pollen's real life relationship.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Intercourse With A Vampire, Episode 3
We'd been friends for awhile, but I was too shy to tell him i actually liked him liked him. And then something horrible happened. Junior prom rolled around and every single one of my girlfriends had a date, but me. How would i be able to survive seeing their wallet sized group prom photo if I wasn't in it? I was so depressed.
and here's some funny blow off stories from the cast:
Friday, November 13, 2009
At least 75% of Coldplay's music is all about post blow off forgiveness. Case in point:
The Scientist (from Rush of Blood to the Head): Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry/You don't know how lovely you are/I had to find you/Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart....
There songs should come with an FDA warning: side effects include complete and total denial that a certain douche bag will channel his inner Chris Martin and try to get you back.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Character-building is so overrated-- there are some experiences in life that should have never been explored. This is where Lacuna saves the day.
NO! I will most certainly NOT meet you in Montauk!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Jake Ryan is the Superman for every 16 (to 35 year old) woman waiting to be rescued and noticed by the man they lust after.
More than Jake Ryan we love Thompson Twins 'If You Were Here' - totally makes for the perfect soundtrack to the last scene of this cult classic.
Sixteen Candles - Final Scene - Movie Ending - More free videos are here
All of us at the blow off agree if you're gonna dump someone... get creative, mo-fo! I mean, why should marriage proposals get all the glitz and glamour? So, if you want an exciting and surprising way to blow off your Sig Other, look no further. Here's the first in our long list of ideas.
The Fortune Cookie BLOW OFF.
How about: "I'm in love with someone else." or "pass the moo-shoo, I'm blowing you off." or "Confuscious says 'i don't want to date you anymore.'" At least this way you won't get blown off on an empty stomach....
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Watching Joseph Gordon Levitt bust a move to Hall & Oates was completely adorable, but also sad cause you knew his happy musical number would blow up in his face.
This movie's biggest flaw is that JGL is so darn endearing that Zooey comes off looking like a total beeotch for not loving him back. WTF was she thinking??? I mean, the guy can dance. What more could a girl want?
Monday, November 9, 2009
Miranda finally admits she thinks Carrie shouldn't blow off her whole life just for Petrofsky and Paris. Proof that blow offs between friends can be much more painful than ones with loser douche bags.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
I'm also single. VERY (S)ingle. (A)sian. (F)emale.
By VERY single, I mean I have not been in a serious relationship in nearly five years, nor do I really date. In fact, I hate dating. I know I need to do it in order to finally meet the right person-- "You've gotta kiss a lot of frogs..." as my friend says.
It can be thrilling, yes. But for me--an intensely independent person who gets comfortable immediately and is pretty brash by nature-- it's hard to concede, act demure, and constantly check (and double check) what to say, or how to behave. "Play the game." It's like walking on eggshells, it's so exhausting.
So I don't. Some guys can take it. Most of them can't.
The latter is the reason why I am here. I'll be one single girl perspective for THE BLOWOFF- cause yes, we've all been blown off, but I'm a writer here that is STILL getting The Blow Off. Sometimes, when appropriate, I am the one blowing off.
All in real time.
So the frogs must be kissed. Sometimes, we'll even sleep with them. If nothing else, it's for character building. And, of course, good writing material for your pure entertainment.
Thanks to Sara and Slim for starting this rad forum. Let's have fun! I'll take a JT and Andy Samberg sandwich, thanks.
When Conrad (played by Chad Allen) kisses her on the cheek, she punches him in the eye. Violence is not the answer when you're trying to blow someone off, but there's no harm in mustering a little Punky power in declaring your single-hood. You go with your bad self, Punky!
Friday, November 6, 2009
"Good luck finding a belay as good as me."
And yes readers, the lay in belay was bolded by the douche bag in question. (Note: the guy on the left isn't the douche bag. He's Fred Beckey an american mountaineer that's made more first ascents than any other North American climber. Fred can be our belay anytime!)
Anyway, i've got serious mixed feelings about this book. It's a little outdated now with not enough insight on the prevalence of social networking sites. Straus makes some good points, but it seems like she's urging her readers (the female ones. I mean, has a single dude ever read this book?!?) to get in a time machine and go back to the 50s where things were much simpler. This can't be the answer. There's got to be a different solution, even if it's dating 384 people at the same time.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
As though that wasn't bad enough, Henry accused her of treason, adultery, and witch craft (total bullshit charges) so he could get with Jane. Anne Boleyn was beheaded. Henry, you're a dickhead! You don't even deserve a hyper-link.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
If I were to create an ironic hipster T-shirt to perfectly encapsulate how I felt about a recent Blow Off, it would read: "I went down on you, and all I got was this lousy Blow Off."
Makes a great Christmas gift, folks.
He was so cute, so charming, so funny, but also so short (so I thought). But who was I to talk, all 5 feet 1 inches of me? I had just relocated to SF from NYC with my NY style still in full effect, with a closet full of beautiful high heeled shoes. After our first couple of dates I decided I had to retire my heels for flats - I barely owned a pair of flats, so this was a good excuse to shop.
With my new flats on my feet we decided to walk to Fillmore Street for our third date (about 6 blocks). After 3 blocks I was in pain and upon reaching the restaurant bathroom the back of my ankles were a bloody mess.
WTF? No guy should make me retire my heels, no guy should make my feet bleed!! At first, I thought that's it, I need to break it off with shorty. And bring back the heels. But I couldn't, he was winning me over date after date. So I decided what's heels got to do got to do with it? What's height but a second hand emotion?
So I got over myself and married him 2 years later and still have a closet full of heels!
Think twice before you lose out on the love of your life! Some things are just not important.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
another good friend made a genius addendum:
"No one you haven't slept with is worth making a fuss over...
and most of the ones you have slept with too."
- Male, 33, In a Relationship, Las Vegas NV.
"I went to visit his guy I had been dating for a while and was really starting to fall for (remember, I am captain long-distance relationship so he lived about 3 hours away). The first night was amazing but the second night, well, I guess I kinda let on that I was super excited about the relationship and kinda freaked him out. Let's just say, I saw the blow-off coming in the progress of his breakfast making skills.
I once ran into this guy I barely knew on the streets of the UES. He had asked for my number months ago and never called. When he ran into me he claimed he lost his phone and invited me to come over for a bbq with him and his roommates. I was single in the city so i thought why not? When I showed up at his apartment he was cooking up a storm. When he was done with his dish I asked if we were going up to the roof deck to bbq with his roomies.
He had me follow him into his bedroom.
Monday, November 2, 2009
For our female readers: this is perhaps the scariest kind of blow off. The kind where you start dating someone and everything is going just swimmingly. They call when they say they're going to call, they text when they say they're going to text, and they like to cuddle.
Shortcomings tells the tale of Ben Tanaka as he navigates life, heartache, and sheer cynisim post break up with his gf Miko who ditches the bay area for brooklyn. Clumsy gives us a glimpse into the highs and lows of a long distance relationship between Jeff and Theresa. Jeff, the more devoted of the pair, learns the hard way that passion has a much shorter shelf life than bitterness. (Note: This book was actually given to me by an ex-boyfriend). Check out Every Girl is the End of the World For Me, also by Jeffrey Brown.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
We at theblowoff.com know that a break up can be a great motivator and that's why we love actress and love line's co-host Diane Farr's story.
After sending 300 engagement announcements, Diane's fiance abruptly broke things off. She decided the best way to inform friends and family of the change in plans was to send out another announcement. This time, the card read:
Over the years, we've heard endless horror stories of relationships gone wrong. Maybe the blow off came after the first date, maybe it came after the first year. Regardless of the timing, the side effects of rejection are always the same: humiliation mixed with sadness, anger, and sometimes complete and total shock.
So, what's your best story? Copy and paste that painful blow off email that found it's way into your inbox. Re-type that text message that's been imprinted into your memory forever. Or even file a missing person's report for the worst kind of blow off: the one where you just simply never hear from the person again. Better yet, confess your own sins of blowing someone off.
Give us the back story or don't. Change the names or don't. It's up to you. We all need closure, we all need advice, and we've all had our heartbroken, so let's have a good laugh (or a good cry) together.
Send us your story to firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll post to our website.