Friday, January 29, 2010

The Office Romance you can't BLOW OFF

We've all been there--- stuck in a quasi relationship we know is bad for us, but still feels better than the alternative of being alone. Sometimes choosing to blow someone off takes super human strength, especially when that person is your co-worker and you see them everyday.

Here's a story from one of our readers:

"So I have this coworker that I've been sleeping with for years. And yes, that is bad in a million ways, but hell, it happens. And since we've been sleeping together for years, there's a lot of history. In a very quick nutshell, (well probably not that quick) here's a summary of the past. In the beginning, I had feelings for him. He had feelings for another woman. He was hooking up with both of us. I knew about her, she never knew about me. Time progressed, I asked him what was going on. He said, "I don't want a relationship," you know that BS guys say. Next thing I know, he's "In a Relationship" on facebook. I was pissed. But this was years ago, so I've let it go.

We stopped hooking up after that. Time passed and he comes to me one day and tells me he's going to propose to this woman and asks me to help him plan it. I willingly oblige as a good friend does. They get engaged...on the Brooklyn idea. I am bitter. More time goes by. He finally starts to realize she is the psycho bitch I've been telling him she is. More time goes by. She physically assaults him in an argument. More time goes by. He has reservations. He asks me what to do. I tell him it's better to break an engagement than have to get divorced. He agrees with me and breaks it off shortly thereafter.

I think that maybe this is my chance to be with him and am excited by the prospect. Of course we have sex less than a week after he breaks his engagement. I feel like I'm writing some pathetic chick-lit novel right now. I guess that's what this 'relationship' is...the makings of pathetic chick-lit. At this point, I don't even really like him anymore and everything he does bothers me. But hey, I don't have anything else going on, so why not hook up with him, who I trust and am comfortable with?

More time goes by. I really don't like him, but keep sleeping with him for some reason just because he's there. And today, after a particularly demanding day at work, I think why not release some steam with a hook up? He denies me, claiming he will have to work late attending some focus groups. Before leaving, he gets on the phone with his cousin (we share an office, so I am privvy to his conversations) and talks about a party they're going to tonight, then gets up, says good night and see you tomorrow. How's that for a blow off?

I am still sitting at my desk at 10:00 at night working, when I take a break and check out my facebook feed. His status update is that he "can't wait to party!!!!" Second blow off of the night. And the second time he's blown me off...on facebook. Time to go home. I wish I could get rid of this dude, but he's way to entangled in my life. How I wish I could blow him off."

What do you think peeps? Any advice on how to blow off that person you just can't let go of, but know you should? Comment below!


  1. I say that no good will come of this and surely this woman deserves so much more. He's a jerk and doesn't deserve to breathe the same air she does. Alone is far better than being disrespected. He doesn't deserve a GOOD FRIEND! BLOW HIM OFF!!!!

  2. So you don't like the guy, and sounds like he's just not that into you. But hey, nobody can fault you for love of getting banged. So how bout you stop being in your office at 10 at night and go meet some people that you might actually enjoy being around, and see how quickly you stop caring what this douche is posting on Facebook.

  3. get a grip, stop the sex and if you live in nyc maybe we can hook you up with evan....

  4. defriend him on fb. sleep with his best friend/brother/sister. drink a lot. move offices or get a new job. new job is probly better cause your job now sux! find a new unavailable guy to sleep with.

  5. Poop in his desk.

  6. For some reason, it's the true douchebags that are the hardest to get rid of from our lives. But you'd be surprised-- just stop sleeping with him, do your own thing, and guarunteed he will want back in. By that point though, hopefully you will be dating Evan.

  7. Im living it. It sucks. It hurts.
    But feel like you cant get out.