Thursday, January 14, 2010

Spies Like Us: Stalking & the BLOW OFF

If there's one thing all guys should know about girls is that we are amazingly good detectives. There's no such thing as Mission: Impossible when it comes to what we can figure out about you. Seriously, you could have an affair in Antartica with no other human beings around for thousands of miles and we would find out about it. I know women who've looked at emails, phone records, credit card statements, text messages, the list goes on and on. And for the sake of full disclosure, my bf will be the first to tell you I've had a few weak moments myself (we once had a fight about a message I "accidentally" saw in his facebook sent box. Not one of my proudest moments. Not one of his either.)

But before the advent of websites like Google and Facebook, us ladies had to get a little more creative with our stalking....

**Insert dream sequence transition...doodoo-do, doodoo-do, doodoo-do....**

.....It was the summer of 1996. I was fifteen years old and my older sister and her friends were all home from their freshman year of college. One of her close friends had just rekindled the flame of an old high school crush that she never got the chance to date in high school. They were both home for the summer and it was supposed to be the first time they could finally be together. But then once she got home from college, he started acting weird and distant. So, naturally, she drove by his house and saw a car she didn't recognize. She was convinced he'd started dating a girl from school and hadn't told her. But how could she find out for sure?

This is where my sister and I come in. My sister had the brilliant idea that we would drive to his house and park down the street. I would walk to his place, knock on the door, claim that I lived nearby and my dog had gone missing, and that I wondered if he'd seen or heard it. My response: let's do this.

So, we made the drive to his house. They parked the car and I made the one block walk in the dark to his place. It was at that moment that I thought "wtf am I doing?" The lengths I was willing to go to impress my sister and her cool friends. I got to his front door and there was no turning back. I knocked...

Dude opened the door with no shirt on. I gave the speech about my dog and he totally fell for it. Meanwhile, I heard a girl's voice asking him who was at the door. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

The walk back to the car was the worst. I had to break the news to my sister's friends that she wasn't being a crazy paranoid girl. All her fears were well founded. Sometimes it pays to stalk.

So, the moral of the story? Boys, do not fuck with us.


  1. awww Sara... thanks.

    THAT was an interesting day. What a loser... :)