Wednesday, March 17, 2010

the Inadvertent Email BLOW OFF

I love email.  It's convenient and fast, and more importantly, it's the perfect way to avoid telling people how you really feel face to face.   With a click of the send button, even the socially awkward can flirt or blow someone off with ease.  Sure, it's all fun and games until an email gets in the wrong hands thanks to the evil FORWARD option.  A few years ago, I learned that the hard way.

It all started when I forced myself to go to a volunteer meeting for the new McSweeney's store that was going to open in Brooklyn.  I didn't feel like interacting with new people at all, but I was single and lonely, and I knew I needed to "put myself out there."  So, I went.  There was a cute boy in attendance that I was immediately taken with (he def fit in my "type matrix"). Somehow, I found out that he liked Bob Dylan, so I opened a Yahoo email account with tangledupinblue as the user name.  Totally pathetic, I know, but I figured it would be the perfect conversation starter once volunteer emails circulated (and for the record, I did like Bob Dylan).   Listen up ladies, it worked like a charm.  Soon, he was lending me Bob Dylan CDs, we were going out for drinks, and exchanging witty and thoughtful emails.

Then, one night, the unthinkable happened.  I realized I didn't like him like that.  I don't know what changed-- at that point, I didn't even know if he was interested in me.  I just knew if I wanted to stay friends with him, I'd have to tell him sooner or later that my feelings were platonic (or start excessively using the word "buddy" every time we were together.)   Turned out, I never had to give him that speech.

After getting a funny and witty email from him, I made the mistake of forwarding it to one of my good friends with a message like "cute email from ________.  I wish I liked him."  For those of you that have yahoo accounts, you know that forwarded messages are sent in the form of an attachment, so that means when the recipient hits reply, they actually reply to the person who sent the original message, not the person who forwarded it.  So, my friend replied to my forward and said something in the vein of "this guy is totally in love with you, but I can totally see why you think he's pretentious.   Poor thing, he totally wants to be marry you and be a Saedi (my last name) son in law"  except she sent it to him, not me.

My poor friend called me totally frantic after she realized what she'd done.  It was an honest mistake and even though I was mortified, I couldn't be mad at her.   I could have easily done the same thing.   I immediately emailed the boy and pulled a mea culpa.  First, I confessed to being dorky enough to forward his email to my friend in the first place, but then I also had to admit that while I didn't want to be presumptuous,  I wasn't interested in dating him.   He couldn't have been nicer about the whole thing, but the email from my friend definitely forced the "are we dating or are we just friends?" issue.


  1. I totally did the exact opposite of this. When some boy that I'd been in love with since the 1st grade emailed me after 9/11 to see if I was okay, I forwarded it on to a friend (so I thought) with the message, "I LOVE HIM" - yup, in all caps, along with tons of quotes from his email. Except that I actually sent it to him. It's so embarrassing, it almost feels like one of those stories you used to read in YM.

  2. Oh man, how mortifying! Damn yahoo! All that spam and now this! Outrageous.

  3. I've pretty much never lived it down! and LuckyD,i feel your pain, and i totally forgot all about young & modern magazine!!!

  4. totally remember this. yes, it was mortifying for all parties involved.

  5. Oh man, girls are awesome.