Friday, April 2, 2010

the ageist BLOWOFF

Ageism, such an ugly word, but when it’s the reason behind a blow-off or breakup, dare I say it, sometimes it just makes sense. Despite the old adage, one can definitely be too thin, too rich (not a bad burden however) and too damn young – or old for that matter. When it comes to the relationship, there is a fine balance.

Let’s take dating the younger man, being a cougar these days is all the rage. I’ve done it– in fact am still doing it - (and highly recommend it). And part of me loves the fact that finally, women are getting their due as viable objects of desire even when they are, gasp, past 40. Men have been doing it since they got off their knuckles – and in much more of an embarrassing fashion – so hell, why can’t we. The trick is to do it right. Of course you want to find someone desirable, hot even, energetic and youthful. But what you don’t want is to end up with him at some club surrounded by 18 year olds wearing neon and leg warmers wondering how long before you can sneak out and tuck your old weary bones in bed. As I said before, balance is the key. You have to have enough in common so that age is not glaring at you in the face like a florescent bulb. Cause this will quickly lead to him leaving you curbside, or you quickly tiring out and trading him in for a Twilight DVD and a cup of hot chocolate (hey, just cause you’re feeling old, does not mean you can’t be tapped into the zeitgeist).

On the flipside there is the older man to consider, and of course be wary of. My friend was married to a man 17 years her senior. The man took a nap every day. Every single day. And if he didn’t, he’d become so cranky he needed a bottle. This she soon realized was NOT a good sign, and it quickly led to the demise of their relationship. I’m not saying it cannot be done. In many circumstances, going older means finding someone who just may be your equivalent in maturity. And there are of course things to be learned, taught, and experienced that only someone of a different generation can show us. But keep in mind the following, if he needs your hand to cross the street, or takes anything off his body or from his mouth to sleep at night, I’d fire up the DVD player and seriously reconsider the union.

1 comment:

  1. Ok, just came across this old post. I hadn't read it before, but I thought I'd add that I used to take naps every day when I was 19. And, I wish I still did!