Monday, April 12, 2010

Baseball & the BLOW OFF

My 21 year old brother strikes again.  This time, he taught me some baseball dating analogies that can help you figure out who to blow off and who to make MVP.

The team: the group of girls you're dating.

The Leadoff hitter: the girl that can always get on base.  Hence, she's always available when you need her.

The 3rd hitter & the Clean Up hitter: your two best "players".  The ones you value the most and can't live without.   You don't have much of a team without them.

New Short Term Contract: when you're adding a new girl to the team, but aren't committed to keeping her.

Long Term Contract:  the girl worth putting everyone on the team aside for.  The one you plan to stick with for awhile. 

Trading block: when you want someone off your team, you put them on the trading block or "cut them" from the team.

The Disabled List: the girl you're not ready to cut from the team just yet, but need to bench for awhile.

Open Try Outs: when you're testing out new girls to add to the team.  

Also, good to know:  if you have more than nine girls on your team, you're really playing with fire.  And after awhile, you should always sell the team and start from scratch--- players get older, they get tired, they're not hitting it out of the park anymore.   

And all this time I thought baseball was so boring.  How could I have been so wrong?  Here's to always being the clean up hitter with a long term contract.

1 comment:

  1. so funny. i wanna hear more from your 21 year old brother.