Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Bros Before Hos Blow Off

We were juniors when Jessica met Jake, a cute athlete who had been a big deal at our high school. He was in college now and while still cute, was the kind of guy who'd lost a bit of his golden boy luster after graduation and found an easy way to regain it was through the attention of someone who still saw him as the star he had been.

Every Friday Jessica and I would make plans. I would come over and while we were getting ready, Jake would call and she would agree to meet him at his parents' house. Then she would apologize half-heartedly about how she didn't know he was coming in to town and this would never happen again. Pretty soon, I was like "No, it won't. Because I'm making other plans." You'd think I'd slapped her.

She sputtered that this was not her fault. She thought he might come into town. She wasn't sure. She didn't want to be left with nothing to do and my God, didn't I know how much she liked him? I did. I also knew that a guy who called her over to make-out on his parents' couch and then sent her home while he made himself a sandwich, did not actually like her.

Even after I stopped agreeing to be her weekly back-up plan, I listened to her debate the pros and cons of being involved with someone who didn't acknowledge her existence in public. I took my car when she was worried about driving by his parents' house in her own. I participated in a lot of ridiculous high school girl shenanigans until the things that once bound us as friends dissolved and we were left having the same damn conversation about why Jake hadn't called. Spoiler Alert: It's because he didn't give a shit about her.

Unlike most friendships, Jessica and I actually broke up. One night she called, wondering what I was up to. I was with our friend Emily. We'd met through Jessica, and were now close friends (turned out I wasn't the only one over being ditched for Jake). Jessica wanted to meet up, but we were at a party Emily's older brother and his friends were throwing.

Jessica's Jake-dar started blinking and she asked if he was there. He was. She said she was coming over. We said maybe that wasn't such a good idea. He was with all his old friends. He hadn't told her he was in town. Why didn't we just meet her somewhere else? That's when her head exploded. There was yelling (her end) and eye rolling (ours) and when the dust settled, it was clear that it was over. With Jake and with us.


  1. um, awesome post. Not only do i love the subject matter, but anything involving Dazed and Confused makes me cry tears of joy.

  2. And after your curfew, she showed up anyway (tipsy) & since "Jake" wasn't there, proceeded to try to seduce my brother in an effort to make Jake jealous! Because of that skeezy ho, I got banned from big bro's party pad & his mega hot roommate for a few weeks :(

  3. Oh, come on St. Clare! You can't leave out awesome details like that!

  4. Welllll, technically it didn't have anything to do with the blow off, but I just thought it needed to be added b/c I'm still a little bitter....12 years later!