A missing person's report hot off the presses from one of our loyal readers in the military:
"Missing: a guy who built me handmade shelves with an inscription saying, 'Anything for you, sweetheart,'written on the back. I think he may have been distracted when another male offered him the 'best 47 seconds of his deployment'-- not including the 'drooling and panting.' I guess that was more inviting than a sweet, single heterosexual blonde with a 26" waist and 34D boobs."
Oh, no he didn't!
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