Monday, April 26, 2010

Glossary of a BLOW OFF: Blowtini

Part of speech: Noun

Definition: A wild, implausible excuse for blowing someone off that implies a lack of fault due to intoxication.

Example: “Nope, he never called last night. Somebody must have slipped him a Blowtini.”

Origins: My favorite alkie, once explained a weekend long absence from plans we made together with this bold faced lie: “I was gonna call you but somebody must have slipped some blow in my drink. The last thing I remember is passing out on the party bus.” My friends and I made the following assertions that led to the creating of the term Blowtini. First of all, cocaine’s a stimulant. I don’t know anybody who snorts a line before bed. Its not a cousin of Rohypnol or anything. Second, coke is expensive. It’s not the sort of thing people waste by dumping it in someone else’s drink for kicks. Most importantly, my favorite alkie was never one to make moral judgments about intoxicants. He welcomed one and all. The most likely truth is that he was snorting lines with his buddies and knew it wasn’t my bag so he didn’t bother to call or to give it to me straight when he got around to apologizing. Forever after, any flake out or complete failure at life has been blamed on one of those wily, lurking Blowtini’s. Watch out, they’ll sneak up on you.

1 comment:

  1. i can't deal with cocaine just about as much as i can't deal with strippers. and i've been blowtini'd before too. eff that!