Wednesday, May 5, 2010

the disappearing BLOW OFF

the most common BLOW OFF I've experienced is the kind where you don't get a break up call, text, or email. Instead you get a big fat break up nothing.  I guess it's possible that some of these guys died tragically right as they were about to call me back, but chances are they wimped out and couldn't be bothered with saying "I don't like you like that."  

in the 21st century, it can be hard to understand why people pussy out so bad when it comes to break ups. Yeah, it can be scary to end a relationship with someone face to face, but these days you don't have to.  So, when someone still opts to just fade away, you have to wonder why they couldn't at least write you on your facebook wall.  
my theory: the disappearing blow off takes place more commonly in new relationships. You haven't really been dating the person long enough to warrant a break up talk and maybe you're not even sure if you're dating the person in the first place.  You know, when you're hanging out with someone you only like platonically, but you aren't sure if they feel the same way, and you don't want to lead them on, but you don't want to make a fool of yourself by bringing up a "do you like me like that, because I don't like you like that" talk if they didn't like you like that in the first place.  You follow?

Anyway, the disappearing blow off is amongst the most frustrating, because it gives you no closure.  People say no answer is the answer (see the book He's Just Not That Into You)  but that's still not concrete enough for me.   Truth be told, I've used the technique myself.   I did it, because I wasn't interested in the person and all the other hints I was dropping were going unnoticed. And I didn't feel like the relationship had gone on long enough to have a discussion about my lack of interest.   So, I just stopped returning phone calls and told myself it was okay to pull the old disappearing act, because I'd been on the other end of it too.   I guess it's just another cycle of break up violence that I don't think will be broken anytime soon.  

1 comment:

  1. i don't know, man. i got a blowoff once in the form of a text message and i swear to god i woulda rather never heard from him again.