Monday, May 3, 2010

An open BLOW OFF letter to Facebook

Dear Facebook,  
You are a huge enabler.  You make it okay for us to keep tabs on people we've dated and it's just not healthy.   There used to be this thing called a "clean break up."   A couple could call it quits and unless they had a ton of mutual friends, they could pretend like the other person never even existed and move on with their life.  But now, thanks to you Facebook and your status updates, all of us social networkers can look at our newsfeed to find out when our exes are taking a shit.  

It used to be that only celebrities had to see pictures of their ex with their new gf/bf on the cover of magazines.   But now  all it takes is one tagged photo and all of us regular folks have to endure the same thing.   Screw you, Facebook!   I don't want to see wedding pictures of a guy who's touched my boobs.  (okay okay, I'll admit, it's cool with me that guys I've used to date can see pics of the BF, because he's awesome).

Another thing, Facebook.  When it's 2am and i'm tipsy and curious, I end up friend requesting guys I've made out with once and haven't talked to in years.  This guy wrote back and asked me if I could remind him who I was.   Thanks, Facebook.  I really needed the extra humiliation there.  One time, I contemplated adding a guy, only to (thank god) remember that he and his dad have the same name, and it was actually his dad's Facebook page.  WTF, Facebook, do you realize how embarrassing that would have been?

And if I didn't already feel like a stalker, FB, I now also know that my boyfriend's ex is dating a guy that looks exactly like him.   Can you please remind people to update their privacy settings?  

Look, I don't mean to come off angry FB.  Especially since I've reconnected with a lot of people I really like and since I've luckily never gone through a break up while your site existed.  But I know for a fact that you've made a lot of my friend's break up experiences even more painful and I feel the need to contact you on their behalves.  Cause sometimes some of us are not strong enough to block or delete someone (especially since when we do it becomes the be all and end all symbolic gesture).    I'm not expecting you to change or make amends, I just wanted you to know that you're responsible for a lot of sadness, humiliation, and confusion.


PS Can you please tell people to stop tagging ugly pictures of me?


  1. Oh, oh, oh. And tell people who Farmville to move out of their parents basement and rejoin society?