Friday, June 25, 2010

the boyfriend BLOW OFF

I once did a very stupid and bad thing. It started with a move to San Francisco. I was somewhat lonely and dateless for the foreseeable future so I decided to buck up and give online dating a shot. The site was Nerve the indie site of dating sites. My profile was overly witty & sarcastic - I would say pretty true to my offline self ;) I got a few winks, exchanged a few emails, but nothing ever came out of it. A few months passed, I started dating my now husband (met him through cousin, not dating site), however my profile stayed "active" although I was now pretty much inactive.

The stupid & bad part. A long, 6 years lost, co-worker came across my profile and contacted me. I had a mini crush on this said co-worker 6 years ago, but was in a serious relationship at the time. He kinda tried to pursue me back then, but that's a separate post in itself. Out of total curiosity and because my new relationship was still in early dating stages.....well, ok, I think we had just had the gf/bf talk....either way I was being bad and decided to meet-up with him for a drink. To try and be less bad I told bf I was meeting-up with an ex-co-worker. But conveniently left off the "he found me on my active online dating profile and I had a mini crush on him years ago".

Drinks went fine. He was still a very nice guy, but even less attractive than I remembered him to be. Why did I ever have a crush on this guy?  Prob cause I had a bf and he wanted me.  So, here I was again in the same position - with a new bf and with him trying to pursue me all over again.  Seriously shame on me.   I did an even worse thing and never mentioned I had a bf.  I was a total coward because I was too afraid to see how he'd react.

The next day he sent me this email: subject - 'in vino veritas'

Hey you,
I wanted to give you a little shout-out this AM. I hope you got home OK, and to your meeting bright and early (I lied to him and said I had an early morning meeting so I could get out of there after 1 drink) I really enjoyed last night. You looked great, even prettier than I remembered. One thing, lets just forget that ice comment I made. It came out so very wrong....(can't remember what this was about...but hmmm ice, he prob thought I was a bitch back then too!)
I may have to house sit this weekend in SJ, but, perhaps not. Interested in meeting up?

xxxx

I replied back:

hey xxxx,
it was good to see you and catch-up. it would be fun to do it again,
but just to make sure i'm not sending you mixed signals i need to be
upfront and tell you i have a bf. why i didn't mention this when we
hungout? not sure - i guess the topic didn't come up and i pretty much
avoided it because i didn't know how you'd react.
anyway, have a good weekend in san jose and if you're still up for
hanging out again, let me know.

slim

So of course he reacted by never responding. Poor friggin' guy! He was probably thinking "blow me off once, shame on you. blow me off twice shame on me."

I deleted my profile right after.

4 comments:

  1. Me too! I would like to add to this story that the first time you were crushing on this guy, you described him to me as kind of fat, bald, with a giant mole on his face. I think sometimes when you're with someone for a long time, it feels good to hear you're pretty/awesome from other boys.

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  2. ditto on loving the blowoff...and the two amazingly talented sisters and their friends who contribute.

    I just randomly came across this article that I thought might be appropriate, so I'll add it here:

    http://www.7x7.com/blogs/clamour/fear-factor-san-franciscos-commitment-phobic-reputation

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  3. Love this article O. Will def do a post about it. Thanks!!

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