Wednesday, July 21, 2010

the "you're acting like a girl" BLOW OFF

Most of the guys I've fallen for are the ones that strike the perfect balance between playing it cool and letting me know they really like me. They're not too intense, they're not too aloof, they're just perfect. But, there have been a few times over the course of my romantic history that I've come across dudes that have a little too much girl in them. These are the guys that are way too intense right off the bat or kick off the state of the union address way too early. It kind of feels like they've got a sixteen year old girl trapped in their body.

I know, I know--- not all girls are overly analytical and obsessive about relationships-- but I think if we're all going to be honest with ourselves, we can acknowledge that these dating traits are more common among women. For awhile, I thought it was only a female thing till I met Romance Boy.

Romance Boy and I met during the first half of my college years when I was still going to UC Santa Cruz. He was one of the guys I'd spotted early on freshman year who I thought was cute, but never had an actual conversation with. It wasn't until spring quarter when his friend started hooking up with my friend that we got to know each other. Initially, I thought he was really sweet and smart and he played guitar which was an added bonus. Plus, I was just excited that I was actually hanging out with my faraway crush.

The first sign that Romance Boy and I weren't right together was that he always wanted to go on these elaborate adventurous dates you only see on former WB shows. Like the time we had to hike to the music buildings on campus and practically scale a wall to look at the stars. It was freshman year in college--- I ate dining hall food and never exercised--- so my upper body strength left much to be desired. Once the dude had to use all his strength to boost me up to the roof of the building, I wondered why we couldn't just go out for pizza. But Romance Boy was all about setting the scene and this is where he wanted us to make out the first time. Most guys mistakenly assume all girls are total romantics...but this wasn't my kind of romance. I just thought it was cheesy.

Once I felt like maybe I wasn't into this guy, I started becoming a little emotionally distant. That's when he took the intensity up a notch. One night I showed up at my dorm room after hanging out with friends and he was sitting on the floor leaning against my door. Dating in the dorms is torture, cause you can never fully avoid someone. He claimed that he'd locked himself out of his room, so I offered to call security for him. I can't remember if security took too long to show up or what, but somehow he managed to convince me to let him sleep in my room for the night. I remember feeling so uncomfortable cramped in a little twin bed with him and feeling all the more awkward knowing how awkward we were probably making my roommate feel. So, I became more emotionally distant.

Then came the straw that broke the camel's back. I was sleeping and the phone rang in the middle of the night. It was him. He said he couldn't sleep and he needed to talk to me, could I meet him out in the quad. I was cursing him under my breath the whole time I changed out of my PJs and threw on jeans. I got out to the quad and he just went on and on about how confused he was about our relationship and didn't know where things were going and what's gonna happen once it's summer and blah blah blah. The poor boy had gotten so over the top that I couldn't even muster sympathy anymore. I was just annoyed. I should have been in bed sleeping, instead of consoling this guy that was actually a crazy girl. I finally had enough and told him that it would make more sense if we were just friends. And that's when I realized that I could never ever be a lesbian, because dating girls is just a giant headache.

1 comment:

  1. Best line ever: "He claimed that he'd locked himself out of his room, so I offered to call security for him."

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