Thursday, August 5, 2010

the fame whore BLOW OFF

For those of you that watched The Bachelorette or read my recaps, chances are you remember Frank's ex-girlfriend Nicole or sorority row as my friend VGL liked to call her. I think we can all agree she wasn't exactly the type we expected Frank to be with, but I got to thinking, Nicole suffered a BLOW OFF that hopefully none of us will ever experience...the "I'm going on The Bachelorette" blow off or the fame whore BLOW OFF.

I for one like to pretend my ex-boyfriends were figments of my imagination and that they don't exist, which is why I wouldn't be into watching them on a reality show. Oh, hell no.

This is what almost happened to Diana Spechler in the article she wrote for the Times entitled "Competing in my Own Reality Show." (Thanks to Minty for sending this to me). The sad thing about this is that the article was published under the Modern Love column. So, basically, losing a sig other to a reality TV show is something our generation may need to accept...scary.

Here's Diana's story in a nutshell. She was a teacher in a summer writing class. One of her students told her that he was going to be on a reality show where "with the help of his family and best friend, the casting directors would narrow his prospects to three women, allow him one hour with each, and ask him to choose his favorite. Then they would have a legitimate wedding, and the first year of their arranged marriage would be broadcast on a major television network."

The guy claimed he wanted to be on the show, because the producers promised to find him his perfect woman. Getting filmed for a year was a small trade off when it came to finding his soul mate.

This is where I get confused, because that statement has douche alert written all over it, but Diana and said soul mate seeker ended up dating (she left her boyfriend for him). And things started getting really hot and heavy. She fell in love with the guy...all the while, casting directors were sending him head shots of other girls for his impending reality show.

Can you say total fucking nightmare?

Their romance continued to heat up, but so did the red flags. Like the time Diana asked the guy if he thought she fit the bill on what the casting directors were looking for his future wife and he said "no." (Ladies, this is where you WALK AWAY)

Then the news came from the casting director that Diana's BF was getting dropped from the show because he was "frustratingly picky." She tried to hide her excitement but it didn't matter, the night before Valentine's Day, dude told her that he didn't love her.

Diana writes: "In the weeks that followed, I spent a lot of time crying to friends, hypothesizing that he had signed the contract not because he longed for love (Please! Love?) but because his narcissism knew no bounds. Of course, I was being unfair. After all, I had made myself the star of my own reality show. I had signed myself up, donned my blinders, and set my sights on winning. I just didn’t get picked." Sucks to be Diana.

The only thing worse than watching your ex become a reality star is watching them become a movie star. In my previous life as a soap executive, this exact thing happened to one of our actors. He was married. Both he and his wife had a relative amount of fame from working on soaps, but like most soap stars, they were trying to branch out to primetime TV and movies. They ended up getting divorced after his wife cheated on him...twice. Within months of their divorce, his ex-wife landed a part on a TV show that became a HUGE HIT. To add insult to injury, right outside of his house was a giant billboard of the show. The guy was feeling understandably depressed about the whole thing, so his friends decided to get his mind off of it with a few beers and a day of watching basketball....except when they turned on the game...there was his ex sitting court side...rumors abound that she was dating the star player.

Can you say total fucking nightmare?

So, whenever you're feeling bad about a blow off, it could be worse. Your ex could be on a reality show with twenty-five other peeps fawning over them...or they could be taunting you from a billboard right outside your house.

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