Thursday, August 12, 2010

the HR can suck it BLOW OFF

By now, I'm sure you've all heard about the Jet Blue flight attendant that blew off his job by screaming profanities in the intercom, stealing two beers, and making his exit on the emergency slide (my hero...) That's the kind of shit we all fantasize about doing at our jobs, but never have the balls to actually do. If only we could be more like that flight attendant or Don Draper...he just walks out of meetings if he's not into them.

Anyway, I got this amazing email yesterday from one of our readers who decided to quit her job b/c of an email her boss sent out. The names have been changed to protect the identities involved:

"My boss sent this email to me and copied the entire HR team on it. While I didn't curse over the intercom, grab beers, or slide down a chute, I did quit my consulting job today. In case you're wondering about the reference to my MISS yesterday (see below), it was because my boss asked me at the very last minute to include "Peter" on the interview loop. I didn't even know my company had a second location and when scheduling with my candidate asked her to go to Peter's office. I still don't know about this office that isn't referenced anywhere on our website or to my knowledge.

It would have been a much better use of time to point out that the CEO with whom my candidate met thought she rocked and my hiring manager wants to extend an offer. These things, unfortunately, are not important to my FORMER boss.

Here is his lovely email to me and the entire team.

Chloe:

We had a BIG miss yesterday. The coordination was POOR. Following up and ensuring that we are on track to meet with the candidates and that the managers are on point to meet with the candidate. Peter is in a different office location than John. As such Peter didn’t have a chance to interview the Global PR person. An assumption was made and we didn’t coordinate.

On the Global PR role, please have Peter and Sean meet with the Global PR person.

TEAM:

We need to a better job covering for each other. NEED Calendars are aligned. NEED to ensure we are using the recruiting tools. NEED all resumes and candidate information is on jobvite. NEED to have us OVER communicating with our managers. OPEN DOOR POLICY. NEED us to use the interview rooms. NEED us Instant Messenger. WE ARE FAILING.

These are basics! As I indicated in the HR team call yesterday. We are from a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being excellent, and 1 being poor…. we are operating at a level 3. I have a Recruiting Coordinator offer outstanding that will increase the complexity of coordination while at the same time increase the number of resumes coming into the requisitions.

Operationally, please note that I am going to schedule conference calls with hiring manager and recruiters to go through the requisition prioritization and will ask each of you to be on the call at a specific time point.

MY ASK:

Are we in agreement that we are in a level three? What can I get from you to improve our recruiting organization? Please REPLY ALL. Thanks."



Um, WTF? I hope someone replied all to that shit and said "On a scale of 1 to 10....1 being sane and 10 being batshit crazy, you are operating on a motherfucking 11."

6 comments:

  1. omg this just inspired me to quit my job. TODAY.

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  2. This was a hoax, but along the theme:

    http://thechive.com/2010/08/10/girl-quits-her-job-on-dry-erase-board-emails-entire-office-33-photos/

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  3. Mr. boss-man should work on his writing skills before anything else. Then he could at least be a grammatically sound corporate douchebag ...though I'm not sure what the E.T.A. would be on that.

    My ask?
    Level 3?
    Big Miss?

    Are you for real? Get over f-n yourself, boss-man! :)

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  4. Kayoko, did you really quit?!

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  5. Love it, O. And yes, Kayoko-- did you really quit???

    ReplyDelete