Tuesday, August 24, 2010

the "irretrievably broken" BLOW OFF

The Blow Off would like to give some love to Elin Maria Pernilla Nordegren on what is her first twenty-four hours as a single woman.

We haven't talked about the Tiger Woods scandal much on this site, but Elin had a tough year. In November, she found out her EX! husband (Tiger Woods, duh) was cheating on her. She reacted the way most women in her situation would and attacked him with a golf club. Then, she withstood the humiliation of cheap stripper after cheap cocktail waitress coming out of the woodwork with intimate details of their affair with the father of Elin's children. To add insult to injury, most water cooler conversations were unsympathetic to her plight. There was a lot of "what did she expect" and "that's what she signed up for" and "could she really be that surprised"? After all, if you want her lifestyle, then the trade off is getting cheated on.

But do we really have to fault the woman for trusting her husband? It's kind of crappy that we live in a world where that kind of confidence and faith = stupid. Maybe deep down she did worry she'd get cheated on...but not with at TRASHY card carrying STDs or with text message exchanges like:
"I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you."

All of us wondered if Elin would forgive him. Personally, I assumed she would. Either for the kids or because she loved him or because of pressure from the Tiger Woods brand management team. Elin would be just another Vanessa Bryant...buy her a big enough ring and she'd turn a blind eye.

Um, that's not what she did. The final judgment in the divorce papers states the marriage "is hereby dissolved because it is irretrievably broken." Elin gets back her maiden name, $100M (more money than was in the pre-nup), and the right to move the kids to Sweden. The big pay off does have a hush money factor to it--- Elin can't go on Oprah or write a book, but here's hoping she didn't want to do any of that shit anyway and that she has a lot of good girlfriends that she can privately bitch to about what a cocksucker she married. I wish her a nice quiet life in Europe with a way hotter husband and a lot of retail therapy.

As for Tiger, I could care less. I don't feel bad at all that he lost his wife, precious time with his children, a significant amount of money, and a crapload of dignity. Cause guess what? That's what he signed up for.

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