Monday, October 11, 2010

the one year plan BLOW OFF

The BLOW OFF is back with new posts this week! To kick things off, here's a guest post from one of our loyal readers: "I have to preface this by saying, yes, i am over it, and yes, I have a new and much better boyfriend, but this one, because of timing, circumstance, and birthdays is kinda worth sharing.

I had been dating my law school boyfriend for a year, just about. After four months together, we had a bumpy road through our first summer as summer associates. In September, I gave him a very special birthday gift. I took his favorite desk chair and had it recovered in leather. no big deal. That day he broke up with me, some fight about his best friend, his birthday, and a tittie bar. Unless losing this guy at present seems like no big loss in my life, let me qualify: he was the second big love of my life, we met in law school, he was a year ahead of me, and thereby much smarter (a fact he loved to hold over me), and, bottom line, I was a girl in love.

So, to keep the story going, we were back together, my birthday was in February and, to save him from my all-girls party that night, I planned a just-us dinner a week in advance. In the middle of dinner, after appetizers, and before any hint of a surprise dessert, he talked to me about a plan he had for our future. On that night, effectively my birthday night, he told me his plans about how we would work though our future. He would graduate in May. I still had a year left. He was moving to Houston. How wooooould we stay together?? This is when he dropped on me what would later be coined as the "One Year Plan". "Baby, I just need a year. We aren't in the same city anyway. I don't want to break up, but if that's what you want but, I would be a lucky man if I could call you in a year" Plan.

Privately: Fuck You. Plus: It's My Birthday, You Son-Of-A-Bitch. He even dared say that he deserved points for honesty because he could have waited for Graduation. "Bitch, I wasn't born on Graduation; this was worse; kiss my ass!" Sorry. Internal dialogue. This was his idea of timing. He told me, because he was one year ahead of me, and was going to leave Austin in May, and I would remain in Austin for one more year while he started his law practice in Houston, this was a good year for us to "take a year off". He did not say any specific words like "sow his royal oats", but it might as well have been implied. I lied to myself. God, how I lied to myself that this was a good idea. The worst part: I let him get away with it. And, yes, I let him come to my girls-only birthday Sixth Street Soiree on my actual birthday a week later! Why, you ask? Because I am weak and lame, and when doused in love sauce I buy even the worst line in the book.

The point was, I let a below average guy get away with a way below average line. Yes, I bought it. Hook, line, sinker, and the rest of my third year of law school--- remained in love and loyal to this guy. "Another year" I said "To find himself." Advice to all women: to start, if you are an amazing woman, when your man needs some time (a year? really? a whole year?) you, my friend have found yourself in love with a lemon, or worse! The disreputable beast: the man-child. But, once you turn in the lemon, you won't regret the upgrades from your new acquisition."

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