Thursday, November 11, 2010

terrible taste in music & the BLOW OFF

Why is it such a giant turn off when the person you're dating has terrible taste in music? I'll tell you why. Cause a person's musical taste totally determines whether they are super cool or a total dork. Case in point: Radiohead: you're cool. John Mayer: you're a dork

Okay, fine. I have considered changing the name of this blog to "Johnmayersucksbuttholes.com"

But I digress. Back to shitty music. A friend of mine was recently dating this guy, who was great on paper, but wasn't really her type. She decided to give him a chance and let things take their course. One day, he told her he'd gotten them tickets to see one of his favorite female vocalists...Vanessa Carlton. RED FLAG. What guy in his 30s listens to Vanessa Carlton? Who listens to Vanessa Carlton that's not sixteen and still living in 2002?

But she tried to stay positive. After all, it was the thought that counts. He bought her a ticket which was sweet and showed that he was the kind of guy who was good at planning dates. She went to the show despite the fact that her musical tastes veered more towards bands like Yo La Tengo and the Magnetic Fields (cool and cool). It gets worse. They go to the concert and the guy completely rocks out the whole time. Not like normal clapping along, tapping your foot, rocking out. Like I've dropped acid and I'm at a Phish concert rocking out. Maybe he sensed she was less into it, because that was their last date.

Now, I think I have pretty decent taste in music...spanning the ironic & cheesy (Gaga, Britney) to the somewhat obscure (Aqueduct, The National, Crooked Teeth--- okay, i made up crooked teeth, but you know what i mean by obscure: indie rock.) But before you call me a music snob for this blog post, you should know I've made a couple of giant missteps with boys and music.

Circa 1997. I told my high school crush who loved Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix that I liked the Monkees. I was persona non grata after that.

Circa 2002. This boy I was dating was all about the mixed CDs. He introduced me to bands like Built to Spill and Mates of State. I decided to return him the favor by making him a mixed tape...of Jack Johnson. WTF was I thinking? I mean, I was introduced to Jack Johnson by the guy I hooked up with sophomore year in college who hugged trees and bathed in hemp. This guy wore skinny jeans and vintage sweaters. I swear, things were never the same after that. Thank God he never knew I loved rocking out to ABBA in my bedroom (the best pop band ever in the world.)

Circa 2005. The boy I'm currently dating (okay, fine. I'll use the F word. My fiance) is all about obscure hip hop. Suddenly, my collection of Modest Mouse and Death Cab wasn't quite as cool and I was getting teased for being "too emo." Whatever, it didn't matter...by then, I was too old and set in my musical tastes to be ashamed.

And as for my Jack Johnson mix tape, yeah-- it's embarrassing. But, in my defense, Jack Johnson is hot. Like if Ben Affleck had curly hair and played guitar hot. Don't take my word for it...



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