Thursday, December 2, 2010

a BLOW OFF reunion: Lebron & The Cavaliers

I don't know a lot about basketball, but thanks to one of our contributors, J. Keith Van Rappin, we at the BLOW OFF got the play by play on Lebron James & The Cavaliers in a language we can speak: break up talk.

Just to give you a quick recap, Lebron was an Ohio native and played for the Cleveland Cavaliers for years...but never managed to win a championship. Thus, he decided to blow them off and sign with the Miami Heat and didn't even tell the Cavs...until announcing it to the nation in a press conference. Now comes my FAVORITE post blow off moment. The awkward run in!! Tonight, the Miami Heat plays the Cleveland Cavaliers. Wait, it gets better. The game is in Cleveland!

If this still means nothing to you, allow me to break it down the way my brother broke it down for me. The Cavaliers are like the innocent and homely girl you dated for way too long. One day, you realize that even though you have great affection for your first love, you'd rather shoot yourself in the head than marry her and live in Cleveland for the rest of your life. So, you leave her for another woman. Someone a lot hotter, someone a lot sexier, someone with a lot more money and better game.

Your old girlfriend is humiliated. And once you leave, everything goes downhill for her. She's practically on suicide watch. Just when she feels like she can move show up. With your hot, sexy, rich girlfriend to rub it in their face. But be careful, because your ex has got her entire family with her and they're all just itching to kick your ass.

I was psyched to watch this game tonight, but it turns out Cleveland has upped security and is banning any offensive Lebron James T-shirts & gear. Apparently, the jilted ex-girlfriend wants to keep her head held high.

BOR-ing. Personally, I don't want anyone to attack or kill the guy, but I wouldn't mind seeing a little harmless ass-kickage. Either way, we'll be watching and if there's anything worth reporting, make sure to come back tomorrow for an assessment in blow off terms.


  1. ah, but the plot thickens. because now that it's a few months later, you start to realize that this new girlfriend sure is pretty, and all this money sure is nice...but damn if she doesn't seem a whole lot less interested in me now than she did a few months back. maybe, you think, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. maybe this wasn't the perfect match i thought it was going to be. maybe i had a pretty good thing going on with that girl back home in cleveland. or maybe, i don't know, i should have just SIGNED WITH THE KNICKS LIKE A REAL MAN.