Wednesday, December 1, 2010

How to not lose a guy: the male rebuttal

Last week, I wrote a top ten post on all the things guys need to stop doing to us ladies. Well, over Thanksgiving weekend, my brother, brother in law, and fiance decided to come up with their response. Personally, I think it's a pretty sorry rebuttal...comment below if you think you can make some better additions to their list:

10. Stop trying to control all our lives.

9. Stop not having dinner ready when we get home.

8. Stop trying to change the channel when we’re watching sports.

7. Don’t get mad every Saturday and Sunday when a guy wants to watch football.

6. Stop getting annoyed every five minutes just because we’re being dudes.

5. Don’t ask us a question when you know what you want the answer to be, and then suggest your answer when we answer another way.

4. Stop comparing things that we do, to things that you do.

3. Don’t be so dramatic. Instead, maybe you should go to fucking India for four months and figure it out. (Note: in case you missed it, this is an Eat, Pray, Love reference)

2. Don’t make threats that you’re not gonna carry out.

1. Stop reading into the fact that I haven’t texted you in three hours and chill the fuck out.

Touché!

3 comments:

  1. At the risk of being impolite, I'd say "sorry" is being polite. I can respect and agree with #5 and #2, and #3 too, sans hacky "EPL" joke. But the rest feel pretty sub-Maxim, women-be-shoppin', King-Of-Queensian.

    Here are three attempts:

    Women,
    1) Please try to enjoy and get to know my friends.
    2) No silent treatment, ever.
    3) Don't expect that I can read your mind. If you want/need/feel something, you should feel free to say it.

    keep up the good work,
    Harper

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  2. Harper--- I have to admit, I'm guilty of #2 and #3 on your list. All three are good ones! In defense of my favorite triad of men, I have to add that most of what they were saying was at least 40% in jest. It's funnier if played straight though.

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  3. We aren't the male chauvinist pigs you are making us out to be-- every point lacks the lengthy explanations your points had in the original "how to not lose a girl" post. After I slay my final exams I will come forth with our true rebuttal.

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