Tuesday, December 21, 2010

When I say Couples you say Swap!

My mom once told me that when you're in a relationship, it's not all that appropriate to have single friends of the opposite sex...especially if you plan to hang out with them solo. Couples, she said, should hang out with other couples. Now, my mom normally gives sage advice and I'll be the first to admit that I'd feel weird if my F word made some new hot single female bestie BUT hanging out with other couples can be even more dangerous...

Exhibit A. Shania Twain married music producer Mutt Lange in 1993. He's the guy she wrote "You're Still the One" about. Then, in 2008 she and Mutt announced they were getting a divorce. It turns out, Mutt was having an affair with Shania's best friend, Marie-Ann Thiebaud. Apparently, the Thiebauds were their best couple friends. You know, the couple they'd go on vacation together. Just yesterday, Shania announced her engagement to Frederick Thiebaud. That's right, Marie-Ann's ex-husband! Shania and Frederick were so hurt by their spouses that they sought comfort in each other and fell in love. I for one am rooting for these two.

Exhibit B. Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. They announced they were getting divorced last month, because Tony was allegedly carrying on some sort of text message affair with Erin Barry, the wife of Brent Barry--- Tony's former teammate. Apparently, they were---wait for it---- Tony and Eva's best couple friend. No word yet on whether Eva and Brent will seek comfort in each other's arms. (Side note, I don't feel bad for Eva. I have it on good authority that she cheated on her first husband...twice. Karma's a bitch, beeotch.)

Exhibit C. One of our loyal readers sent us this article in the New York Times about the wedding of Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla. They met at their children's school when they were both married. They hit it off. The families started going on vacations together and somewhere along the way Carol and John started secretly falling for each other. John asked her to meet him at a bar one night where he confessed his love. Carol spilled a beer all over herself and ran out of there, only to come back a few minutes later to tell him she felt the exact same way. According to them, they never had an affair and instead told their spouses the truth and ended their respective marriages. Do you buy that, cause neither do I. I mean, seriously--- they were willing to ruin both their families without finding out if either of them was a good lay first? Likely story.

WTF couples! Give it a rest. It's not the seventies and no one's throwing key parties anymore. Can't you just be happy that you're in a relationship and stop being all choosy and selfish?

I'm so confused. What's a couple to do? Hang out with no one? Hang out with ugly couples? Just trust each other? OMG, I got it. Gay couples should only hang out with straight couples and straight couples should only hang out with gay couples. Problem. Solved.

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