Thursday, January 6, 2011

Bad timing & the BLOW OFF?

I used to have this nasty habit of meeting the perfect guy at the most imperfect time. Like the time I dated the love of my then life when I was eleven, just weeks before 6th grade was over and we were going to different junior highs. Or when I did the same exact thing with my 8th grade boyfriend just before we we were headed to different high schools. Or when I dated my high school boyfriend right before it was time to part ways and go to college. Or that other time I dated that super cute indie hipster my sophomore year in college just weeks before transferring to another UC.

But this post isn't about any of those guys. This post is about the guy I met my senior year in college just two months before graduating and moving from California to New York. And yes, he's been mentioned on this blog before. What do you want from me, I'm running out of material.


We'd both been readers at Zoetrope All Story in San Francisco, but we worked different shifts and never met until the magazine held a reader's party...where Francis Ford Coppola thanked us with pizza and wine and a private screening of the soon to be released film Windtalkers (one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life). Meeting and hanging out with a legend should have been the highlight of the night, but it wasn't. The highlight ended up being the cute off beat fellow reader who talked endlessly about a documentary he was making about artistic rollerskating (a sport in which he was a national champion. And yes, he was straight. At least I think he was). Moving on.

Long story short, we started dating and it was great. He knew I was moving to NY and we both agreed that we weren't gonna do the long distance thing, but that we should just make the most of the time we had together. Thus, began the most frustrating few months of my dating life. It turned out my last couple months in Cali conflicted with his documentary shoot. But I didn't care. He was an artist and I thought that was hot, plus I really liked him and I took on the role of supporting "kinda" girlfriend with serious aplomb. I did shit I never do for guys. Like the morning he and his bff/fellow documentarian were headed to Fresno to film the rollerskating state champions and I left a bag full of road trip snacks (plus beer) outside of his apartment door with a sweet note. I should have known we were doomed when it took him almost two days to call and say thank you, because my number was lost in his email account and he didn't have internet access to track it down. (Note: This was 2001, neither of us had cell phones. But--- when you really like someone, you memorize their number.)

The rest of our time together was a lot of the same. He was too caught up in work to hang out- if it wasn't transcribing tapes it was writing letters to financiers or interviewing editors. I finally called him out on it and he swore he really did want to see me, but that he was scared he'd get so used to having me around that it would make it that much harder when I left. It was easier for him to keep me at arm's length. The romantic in me would like to believe that, but I couldn't deal when on our last night together, he brought his best friend to dinner because they had to talk "work".

Despite all that, when he ended up moving to New York three years later, I thought maybe we were finally getting our chance to be together. I even helped him get a job at the Tribeca Film Festival and he got really busy again and things fizzled quickly (see this post). By then the book He's Just Not That Into You had been published and I was much wiser than my old college self. So, when my job offered me a LA, I took it without hesitating. What followed was a few confusing hang outs and good bye make out sessions that made me feel like I was back in college. Once again, I was the one leaving, but this time I was going west and he was staying east. I told him if I was ever going to really get over him, we could never talk again. I made good on that, cause it's been more than five years since we've spoken. Thank God I finally moved on (and thank God he's not on Facebook)....Although I wouldn't be surprised if he reads the BLOW OFF.

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