Thursday, January 27, 2011

don't BLOW yourself OFF

Dear People in Relationships,

The purpose of this post isn't to tell you to try to back off with the Facebook PDA's or try to spend more time with your friends or talk about something other than your significant other (or your wedding--- yes, I'm officially one of those girls. I feel so dirty.) Anyway, the purpose of this post is to tell you not to blow off your alone time just because you're dating, engaged, or married.

Trust me. Every once in awhile, it's important to remember who you are minus your spouse. I've always been the type to crave my alone time (single or not single) and luckily I'm dating a dude who feels the same way. The best piece of advice someone gave us when we moved in together was to learn to be alone in the same space. Like it's okay for me to be watching TV, while he's on the crapper. I don't need to be in the bathroom with him.

So, if you're in the kind of relationship where you do everything together and are glued to each other's side at parties and bar-mitzvah's. STOP IT. You're annoying everyone around you. Instead, start displaying a little independence and go out on a date. With yourself.

I take myself out on movie dates every so often and it's awesome. I don't have to have the whole "it's my turn to treat" exchange, I don't have to negotiate why we should go see that little character driven art house film instead of Tron Legacy, I don't have to share my popcorn, and I don't have to pretend I'm not appalled if the BF didn't love the movie as much as I did. Don't get me wrong, the BF is my all time favorite date night companion...but I'm a close second.


  1. Ugh. . . LOVED your last line in this piece! Adorable!

  2. When I lived in NYC, I used to try to make it a point not to make plans on Friday night. After a hectic work week, who wants to go out on a Friday?

    So I would go to a yoga class after work, sit in the steam room to my heart's content, shower and be on a bus downtown by 8. Then, I would have a bowl of pho in Chinatown, and walk up to Sunshine or the Angelika and watch a movie. Home and in bed by midnight. Awesome!

    I cherished these nights alone--a date with the city. It's liberating and awesome. Single people need alone time too!

  3. thanks for reading ladies! and Kayoko, I agree with you RE: single peeps needing alone time too. I was nervous if I wrote that, people would be like "shut it."