Monday, February 28, 2011

the stuck in limbo BLOW OFF

Last week, David Arquette appeared on Oprah to talk about his issues with alcoholism and the separation from his wife, Courtney Cox. I, of course caught the episode. Twice. And it got me thinking...if only I could have gone on Oprah after all of my break ups and pour my heart out. Then, I could hear her quote her idol, Maya Angelou. "When you know better, you do better." Anyone who watches Oprah knows that she says this at in every episode and repeats it twice in a row for dramatic effect.

Anyway, I digress. Back to Arquette. So, as we all know, celebrities break up all the time. Just like normal people. But usually they don't like to talk about it. They may be do an interview here and there, but they stay vague on the details, and try to appear in public as fast as possible without a single hair out of place and no extra break up weight or puffy post crying eyes. But not David Arquette. That's what I find most refreshing about the guy. Not only was the guy devastated by his split from Cox, he's not ashamed to talk about it.

After getting the words "a deal is a deal" engraved in their wedding rings, Cox and Arquette announced they were separating in October of last year. Since then, Arquette went on a few too many benders, spilled his guts to Howard Stern, and went to rehab. On Oprah, he talked about working on his most authentic self and blah blah blah, but all that aside, he's a guy reeling from the fact that he got blown off by his wife. He talked about feeling angry and doing the whole sleeping with someone else bit, because you think your ex is getting regular action. And he talked about how lonely it is in the house they used to share together.

But do you know what the worst part of the interview was? You can tell he's still in that "hope" stage for the relationship. And that's what sucks about a legal separation. It's like saying, I need my space so I can think about whether I want to blow you off or not. Until you file for divorce, you're stuck in limbo, wondering what the other person will decide. It's fucking torture. I don't think I could handle it. Not even yoga or authentic self psycho babble would get me through it. If the bf ever asks for a separation, I'd just smile and be like "Don't drag this out. Shit or get off the pot. What part of a deal is a deal don't you understand? DIVORCE ME. I FUCKING DARE YOU. I'll show you a legal separation. How would you like your penis to be legally separated from your pelvic area? That's what I thought, love of my life. Now, go pour me a scotch, buy me some tampons, and rub my dainty little feet."

But I guess we all handle our relationship ups and downs in our own way.

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