Thursday, March 10, 2011

A few good men. No, seriously. There's only a few.

A couple weeks ago, the Wall Street Journal printed the article Where Have the Good Men Gone by writer Kay S. Hymowitz. Don't be fooled by the hipster girl with the mod haircut and blazer pictured atop the article. That's not Kay. Kay is ballpark in her fifties, married, with grown kids. She's also the author of the book Manning Up: How the Rise of Women has Turned Men into Boys. Hot title, right?

Anyway, Kay argues that with women being super awesome and successful and going to college and making shitloads of in their 20s have been left kind of confused and bewildered by their role in society. I mean, you can't act like Don Draper if you're unemployed and playing video games and your girlfriend is knocking 'em dead at the office. So, dudes have no choice but to decide that guys like Seth Rogen are more their speed. They don't want to be men anymore, they want to be boys.

This is what Kay calls "pre-adulthood." She writes: "Today's pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn't say. He has to compete in a fierce job market, but he can't act too bossy or self-confident. He should be sensitive but not paternalistic, smart but not cocky. To deepen his predicament, because he is single, his advisers and confidants are generally undomesticated guys just like him. " On the flip side, women are getting to a place where they feel husbands and fathers are not all that necessary and blowing guys off completely (which I have to say is kind of the shit).

According to Kay, since women need men less "the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man." Wait a second...

Basically that means the Feminist Movement was a total win-win for dudes. They have less responsibilities now, they don't have to worry about being the breadwinner, and they don't even have to get wives or raise kids. Kay also fails to mention that us ladies still make 8o cents on the dollar and countries like Afghanistan and Rwanda have more women in legislative roles.

If us ladies want to take a breather or be with a dude that can act like a "man" we have to stop being so awesome? We have to drop out of college, be worse at our jobs, make less money, and be complete and total messes? Who's with me ladies? I'm tired of being a super star, let's just make pies and watch soap operas.

Better yet, maybe guys can embrace the 21st century woman and step it up. We don't want boys, we don't want "men," we just want someone on par with us. Come on, pre-adult boys! In the words of Rosie The Riveter "You can do it!"


  1. So what does it mean to "act like a man"? What specific behaviors are you looking for? I have some ideas, but want to know what you think first.

  2. I put it in quotations, b/c i'm not necessarily attracted to the more macho qualities that society might equate to being a man. I think girls want the best of both worlds-- a guy that respects the fact that we can take care of ourselves, but is going to take care of us when we need it.

  3. And that can take care of themselves - which is getting sadly uncommon among the specific man-boys mentioned.