Monday, March 28, 2011

Glossary of a BLOW OFF: Serual Dater

Serual Dater
function: noun
Origin: During a drink induced vent session with a girlfriend
Definition: Someone who says they want to keep things casual, but still partakes in all the perks of being in a serious relationship. (Casual + Serious = Serual)
(If Jimmy really wants to keep things low key, then why does he hold me all through the night and give me full access to his Netflix Queue? There can only be one explanation. He's a serual dater.)

We've probably all had the displeasure of getting involved with a serual dater at one point or the other. You know the type. Someone that says they don't want to get bogged down by labels, insists they're not ready for anything serious--- but still engages in all the perks of regular companionship: passionate sex followed by brunch the next day, hand holding, lovey dovey text messages, dates on holidays and birthdays, even introducing you to their friends and family. BUT their relationship status on Facebook remains "single" and they'll never change it. It's not just guys that do this, us ladies are guilty of it too. Serual dating is all the wonderful things about being in a relationship without any of the commitment. I can ask you out to dinner, but if I flake five minutes before--- you can't get mad--- because we both agreed to just keep things casual.

It's so hard when you fall for a serual dater, because all the blissful serious moments fool you into thinking what you have will eventually turn into a real relationship. My only advice is to beat a serual dater at their own game. If they want to keep things business casual, then we take it one step further and keep things but naked. As in, we never go anywhere with them that involves putting clothes on. We keep them where they belong, in the bedroom or in the shower--- but never in a cafe or a wine bar or a dinner party. No, shoes, no shirt, no serious relationship.