Wednesday, March 23, 2011

the slow burn BLOW OFF

We'll admit, this blog usually sympathizes with the broken-hearted and down and out. Most posts are told from the point of view of someone that's been dumped or fired or treated shitty at some point or another. But many of us have been on the other side of that equation and know that it can suck just as much to be the one to pull the plug.

Ending a relationship can weigh heavily on the mind of the person that has to do it. It's usually not a rash decision and we often spend months or years going back and forth about it before we have the guts to take the plunge. This is what I call the "slow burn" blow off. It's the kind of dumping that has a longer gestation period. Here are some relationships that often result in a slow burn:

*Ultra long term relationships where your sig other doesn't have much of a life outside you. What will become of them once you're gone?

*Marriages. Not only will you be kissing tax breaks good bye, but potentially 50% of your assets if you file for divorce.

*Co-habitation. Where will you live now? How will you avoid the dreaded day where someone's putting all their things in boxes?

*Their friends are your friends. How do you break up with someone when you share the same exact social circle?

About four years ago, an old friend of mine mentioned that she was trying to break up with her boyfriend of several years. After admitting she no longer had feelings for him, she was resolute that a blow off was her only option. But she was terrified to go through with it, because they had all the same friends. Today, according to Facebook, they're still together. Apparently, JT and Jessica Biel had a slow burn blow off. Reportedly, Timberlake was trying to dump Biel for two years until he finally broke it off once and for all.

Slow burn blow offs suck. They usually involve being mean to the person or acting detached for months, so they won't be blindsided once you finally give them the heave-ho. So, what do you think readers? What's an acceptable time limit for contemplating a blow off? If you've been considering it for 3+ months, does it mean it's time? What's the longest you've waited to break up with someone? Comment below!

No comments:

Post a Comment