Tuesday, April 12, 2011

the "i met someone else" BLOW OFF

This blog is in its eighteen month and somehow we've never really covered what has to be the most common BLOW OFF of all--- getting dumped for someone else. If you've done this, guess what? You're a big fucking pussy. Seriously. You really couldn't pull the trigger until you had someone else to move on to right away? Lame, lame, lame.

This also happens to be the worst way to get blown off. On top of mourning the ending of a relationship, you also have to swallow a way more bitter pill: while you're crying yourself to sleep, your ex is in his/her honeymoon phase with their new significant other. Vomit. Barf. Diarrhea.

So, before you get all defensive and tell me you're not a pussy for doing this, I'm going to confess that I have dumped someone before, because I met someone I liked better. I've referenced it in previous posts, but I broke up with my high school boyfriend my freshman year of college, because I met someone way cooler. But I was an even bigger pussy about the whole thing: I didn't tell him that's why I was dumping him. I just pretended doing long distance was too hard. And it had been hard, but the only time it got too hard to stay together was when their was a guy in the wings I wanted to make out with, while listening to Dave Matthews Band.

So, what do you think peeps? If you are dumping someone for someone else--- do you tell them? Or pretend there's a totally different reason you're calling it quits? I can't decide. Yes, it's cruel to force your ex to think about you cuddling with someone new BUT doesn't that very image force them to move on faster? I wish we could ask Jennifer Aniston what she thinks.

Side note, remember this gem of a post? Sometimes the "I met someone else" reason is the perfect excuse for something else.

9 comments:

  1. I actually think this kind of blow off is way worse than being cheated on... at least in cheating, you can blame it on the alcohol or a momentary bout of lust. This kind of blow off says, "you're just not good enough." Then you end up tearing yourself to pieces, drinking yourself comatose, developing a serious eating disorder, and camping out in front of said ex's house trying to decide whether to fake a suicide or slash the new guy's tires.

    You owe it to your former beau to try and convince them that it's strictly a personality mismatch. Unlike what my whore of an ex did to me! I gave that slut 2.5 years of my prime!!!! But, I'm getting over it. It's only been 12 years now...

    Never say it's because I met someone else.

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  2. I like the idea of staying in a relationship until you meet someone better. It is like anything else. Trade up if you can!

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  3. Ooooh, anonymous. i like that. we may need to do a trading up post.

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  4. Really, Anonymous? I'm so not into being in a mediocre relationship, out of fear of being single. That is lame.

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  5. hahahaha anonymous is bryon. he traded up until he found ME.

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  6. Such trickery. This wedding is gonna be a doooooozy!

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  7. Ok, I effing LOVE the pic you used for this. Peter Pan was such a player.

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  8. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shingling

    "You know women, mate. Like monkeys, they are - won't let go of one branch until they've got hold of the next." -- Mission Impossible II

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  9. shingling! I love that TN! And Alison, Peter Pan was a total whore! our text conversation last week inspired this post.

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