Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Reunited and it feels SO bad

You know when it feels like enough time has gone by between a BLOW OFF and you actually start having fond feelings for an ex again and you decide...why not grab coffee or grab lunch and catch up? I can handle it. We're here to tell you:

DON'T FUCKING DO IT.

Here's the thing. We all lead relatively busy lives. If we really have the urge to fit an ex into our busy schedules, it's because we still have some nostalgia or romantic notions about them. Or we're looking for closure or a better ending than the one we got. Or we have residual guilt and we want to make amends. I'm not sure it's worth it. Any time I've had reunion coffee or drinks with someone I've dated...it's left me feeling shitty. Either I feel sad, because I realize that so much has changed and we've both moved on (i.e. Love is so fleeting) OR I realize I still have feelings for the person and they've moved on (this feels like a BLOW OFF acid flashback). OR we end up having sex. and that's just confusing and comfortable all at the same time...and usually leads to yet another BLOW OFF.

Maybe sometimes the whole reunion-slash-closure exchange is necessary. The BF and I were long distance for a year and right before his move to LA, he had reunion coffee with his ex-girlfriend. I was jealous at the time, but I kind of understood his need to leave that relationship on a good note. The truth is, at one time or another we cared about that person and it's hard to stop wondering how they're doing (which is pretty much the only reason any of us are Facebook friends with people we've dated, am I right or am I right? Curiosity is a very powerful drug.)

What do you think, readers? Better to put the ex to rest or better to reconnect from time to time (at least so they can see how much hotter we've gotten since the break up)? It's a tough call. Here's the litmus test...if the last scene in Annie Hall makes you cry (like it makes me cry)--- don't see the ex. If it makes you happy, then by all means--- send them a text.



"I guess we keep going through it, because most of us need the eggs." SIGH.

10 comments:

  1. i guess i should stop sexting my ex...

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  2. claire, i think you may need to write a guest post about sEXting...

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  3. this scene definitely makes me cry..

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  4. It does suck, but seriously Sara, you're the last person I think would be capable of shutting out those people from your life forever. I think I'm the second to last person.

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  5. i have become fairly good at it...

    ...not sure whether or not to be proud about that.

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  6. I sexted once with this gal during a long car ride. I almost crashed into a big rig when she sexted me a photo of her... I had to pull over into a Carl's Jr. parking lot. It was so romantic...

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  7. Agh, I am the queen of shutting people out who I've dated.

    I need to work on not doing that.

    But they need to work on not being douche bags.

    SVB: The image of you in that Carl's Jr PL doing god knows what with your phone-- priceless.

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  8. Okay, I love all these comments. O. You would be surprised. My M.O. is telling guys never to speak to me again after a break up. When I moved to LA, I told a guy in NY that we couldn't talk again and five years later we haven't. I just need them to disappear. But I'm feeling kind of inspired by Claire, maybe I will start sexting some of the exes out of the blue and see what they say.

    SVB, I will always think of you when I eat Carl's Jr from now on.

    Kayoko, you know who deserved to get shut out. SUPER DOUCHE!!!

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  9. Ok, I guess I'm the only one too emotionally sappy to not be able to do it. Wtf is wrong with me, I suck...

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  10. you're not emotionally sappy, you're emotionally mature! there's a huge difference!

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