Tuesday, June 21, 2011

does this mean we can stop feeling sorry for Jennifer Aniston?

Rumor has it that Jennifer Aniston is dating actor Justin Theroux and that his girlfriend of 14 YEARS just moved out of their apartment. And supposedly Jen & Justin already have matching rings. WTF? Unless they got married, why do they need matching rings? That's like something I would have done in 5th grade with my boyfriend.

So...assuming this is all true and Justin was in a committed relationship before Jen came along...then, what she did is kind of way worse than what Angelina did. Right? I mean, 14 years is a civil union times two. It's also twice as long as Brad and Jen were together.

I think I know how this played out. Jennifer felt entitled. I bet just before they made out for the first time, Jen thought to herself "I deserve this. my husband left me for Angelina Jolie and had six kids with her. My rebound, Vince Vaughan is married with a child. John Mayer came with me to the Oscars and then I found out all the rumors of him being a douche were true. Then he called a different girlfriend 'sexual napalm.' Things with Gerard Butler never panned out, I was in that really bad Adam Sandler movie, and Bradley Cooper chose Renee Zelwegger over me. I don't care if Theroux has a girlfriend. When is it my turn for love?"

Okay, so maybe this was how I justified having a hot and heavy make out session with a guy that had a girlfriend, but I bet Jennifer Aniston went through the same thing. And I bet afterward she sang last Friday's BLOW OFF song of the day to Justin.

Anyway, I officially declare today "stop feeling bad for Jennifer Aniston day." Instead let's feel bad for Justin Theroux's ex-girlfriend. The guy she spent the last fourteen years of her life with has a matching ring with Rachel from Friends. Sadness!

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