Monday, June 27, 2011

the fall back plan BLOW OFF

The wedding section in the New York Times should be renamed: rich white people in love who may or may not have pre-nups. The latest couple to rub their wealth and love story in our face is Sarah Fox and Calvin Ford.

Sarah and Calvin first fell in love as toddlers in their church play group. They didn't start bumping uglies until they went to high school. They were on again/off again through college, then lost touch for four years.

In 2008, they reconnected at a party for Sarah and her new fiance. They hugged and sensed they still had a "connection." Come on! Anyone who hasn't seen an ex in 4 years until their engagement party is going to feel a little pitter patter. This means nothing to me.

Then, the following year, Sarah's fiance totally blew her off and ended their engagement. Sarah admits she had doubts too, but she wouldn't have had the guts to do the breaking up. After they broke things off...Sarah couldn't stop thinking about Calvin. DUH! The man you were supposed to marry just decided he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with you and you have NO future prospects. Of course you're going to start wondering about your last serious boyfriend. This means nothing to me.

Sarah sent Calvin an email telling him that he was a light in her life. Calvin reached out to her via phone, but apparently she was at dinner with her brother who was consoling her over the failed engagement with the sage words: the worst day of your life is going to turn out to be the best day of your life for someone else. I don't think that actually makes sense, but I think he's trying to say "one man's trash is another man's treasure."

Once Calvin and Sarah connected via phone, they spoke for hours. After hanging up, Fox told her mother she was going to marry him. Wow, girlfriend moved on fast! Needless to say, they got engaged and married in Michigan. Oops, did I forget to mention they are like Detroit royalty? Calvin Ford is the great-great grandson of the dude who started the car company.

Here's the deal. The theme to the article is that these two were always meant to end up together. I don't buy it. Personally, I think Calvin was a big fat fall back plan. Sarah basically married her rebound...who was totally the safe (and richest) choice. I mean, he looks like a chubby butler in their picture. I'm just not sure this little union is going to last. What do you guys think?

Anyway, after reading all this, it got me thinking...we really need to have break up listings on the BLOW OFF. So, don't sweat it if you can't get into the New York Times when you get married. We are here for you when you get divorced.


  1. First of all, the bad prom pic ten years later is just so hipster ironic that I am so glad this couple got play in the press! Not buying that these two were soul mates or meant to be together, but that when Sarah was suddenly single she defaulted to the non-douchebag-- who gets much more handsome if he stands on his trust fund (if you're into that sort of thing). Calvin and Sarah could do worse-- so they're maintaining. Or trying. With the right attitude, they could make it work, but they are young and therefore dumb. Outlook foggy.

  2. Another hilarious post, Saaara!

    "This means nothing to me" is my new favorite phrase.

    He is TOTALLY her fall back and she's not even trying to be stealth about. I mean, she's contacting him WHILE she's being consoled? These Vows articles crack me up; they try so hard to make romance out of b.s.

  3. my thoughts exactly.

    i can't decide if Sarah is a total genius, or if this is all just really sad and pathetic.

  4. their marriage will last as long as a ford vehicle: 6 months.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Must be fulfilling for you to write about others' lives because you clearly have none.

      Aesop may have expressed it differently, but I think the old saw goes "people in blog comments sections shouldn't throw stones."

    2. Such an eloquent response, Sarah.
      Stay classy!

    3. Google yourself much Sarah? perhaps it is you that needs a life...

  6. i'm sure if you were so happily married your husband wouldn't be so busy writing bullying emails to the writer. Enjoy first class while Detroit is bankrupt.

  7. There is nothing more satisfying than getting a response from the subject in question. Sarah, you just proved what a worthless, money-grubbing person you are. No one cares about your piles of money, husband, or son. What have YOU been doing these last three years?