Monday, June 20, 2011

Our 500th post: How I got dumped by a dog. Literally.

In honor of our 500th post, I'd like to talk a little about my most recent (and most painful) break up. Those of you that know me personally are well aware of my serious love for pugs. I'm not sure how my obsession started since I'm also known to lack the part of the brain that stores an undying love for animals (I've always loved babies more). But I once gave a character in a screenplay a pug and after that it was all over. Suddenly, they were the cutest thing alive. My pug love rubbed off on my bf and we've been contemplating getting one for the last two years.

So, when we heard that his co-worker not only owned a pug, but needed someone to dog sit for a week, we jumped at the chance. This would be the perfect practice session. Could we actually handle being dog people? I wasn't so sure after we received their homemade manual on how to take care of their pet. They had taken so much time and care into their pug guide that I realized we were being entrusted with their baby. This was a lot of responsibility. What if she choked on a piece of dog food? What if she got kidnapped by gypsies? What if she got hit by a car? Suddenly, dog sitting became the most daunting task in the world.

None of that happened. But something did that I never expected. I got attached. Like really attached. This was just not any dog. This was the most loving creature on earth. Not only did she follow me around everywhere I went, but she also snuggled up next to me under the covers every night. I didn't even care that she woke up at 545am. When I watched TV, she'd nestle into my lap and snore. She'd act psychotically happy when I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. It was love.

And then it hit me. We have to break up. I have to give her back to her owners. Thoughts of running away to Mexico floated in my head, but that seemed a little extreme. So, then naturally my guard went up and I started trying to put some distance between us, but that didn't work either. How could I not pet the most lovable creature in the world? I couldn't! Instead, before her owners arrived, I did what every sane person does when they know they're about to get their heart broken. I got drunk (more like tipsy and I was with a friend, I'm not that big of a loser). Luckily, despite the chardonnay, I managed to say my good byes without crying (until I was alone.) The next few days, I went through the proper break up stages of grief. I ate a lot of chocolate, I listened to Adele, I contemplated changing my hair, I teared up when I saw little reminders of places we'd walked past, and I told myself to look on the bright side...this meant I was finally ready for puppy love in my life.

The pug's owners are going away again next month, so there's a chance we'll be reunited. But, I can't help thinking...what's the point of getting back together if we'll just have to break up all over again? I just don't think my fragile heart could handle it.


  1. Right now Oliver (the dog who dumped me for my mom!!) is sleeping on her lap. The dog breakup pain is hard to take. The right dog will be there to stay and you'll be great dog parents.

  2. omg, megan. i forgot about oliver! you may need to write about this. we are totally getting our own dog now, i can't wait!