Thursday, June 30, 2011

this is weird.

"Sometimes we wait for God to make the next move, when God is saying-- it's your time to act."

Oh no, God didn't! Is Christian Mingle trying to tell me that things are not actually pre-destined and if any of us want to get laid or find love, we need to BLOW OFF the almighty and sign up for a Christian dating site instead? This can't be true.

I guess if we're going to make fun of Christian Mingle, we should make fun of J Date too...but J Date doesn't have any super corny promos that remind me of those compilation records from the 80s where couples listened to Lionel Ritchie by their gas fireplace. So, we're only going to make fun of Christian Mingle.

I'd really love for someone to infiltrate this site and tell me what people's profiles look like. I am dying to know. Do people still try to be ironic and hip? I once had a friend in high school who explained to me that she saw her relationship with her future husband as a triangle...between, her, him, and God (I call that a threesome). That has to be the kind of stuff people say on their profiles on this site. So, I dare you to make a fake profile and write all about it on the BLOW OFF. Forget it, you want something done-- you have to do it yourself. Hopefully, this won't be like the time I infiltrated chat roulette. Wish me luck!

*five minutes later*

I just filled out the questionairre on the site. Sadly, "iheartjesus" was already taken as a user name, but "iheartjesuschrist" was available! I said my name was Beth, because that sounds like a good generic Christian name. When it asks you what religion you are, "atheist" is not an "not sure" is what I marked. For the description of myself I wrote "I am not religious."

I did a little surfing on people's profiles and here's what I can tell you. Christians (on this site) are not all that hot and they are mostly in their 40s or 50s. A lot of them have abnormally large flavor savers. the hottest guy I found made no mention of Jesus in his profile and said "non-denominational" under his church, so he doesn't really count. In fact, most of the slightly cute guys I click on don't mention anything about Jesus. Then I come across the user name "notonlysunday" and thought I would share his intro with you. In case you are interested, I'll hook it up. I think he'd be great for my high school friend.

Hey, I’m Justin! First and foremost, I love Christ and what he is doing in and through my life! He is the biggest and best part of me! I take my relationship with the lord very seriously and I am committed to serving him above all, for all time. That being said, I'm a pretty laid back guy that loves to laugh and joke around! I have a very sarcastic sense of humor and I use it a lot! But... I also have a very serious side and I know when to be serious. I consider myself a goal oriented person who is focused and determined, but also spontaneous and adventurous. I love summer and being outdoors! I love camping, dirt biking, scuba diving, wake boarding, drag racing, rock climbing, snowboarding, racquetball, working out, playing guitar, and fabricating things out of metal. I am always up for a new adventure! I am looking for someone who I can take on the world with! A partner in crime ;) someone who has Christ as their priority in life above all else... someone who will love him before they love me! Also someone who has a good sense of humor and can joke around...if you can’t laugh then life is gunna be really depressing and boring lol. But it’s equally important to know how to be real when the moment calls for it. Someone who is comfortable with who they are and what they are looking for. I don't have any problem admitting that I have a sensitive / sentimental side and so I would like someone who can meet me at that level and talk about things easily and openly. FYI: communication is very important to me! But mostly I look forward to seeing who god might bring in to my life! Maybe its you! :)

this guy seems sweet. And he's actually secure enough to want you to love God more than him. Personally, I wouldn't be okay with that. If I'm not your number one, you're gonna get blown off. I deserve to be much as the heavenly father.