Thursday, June 16, 2011

two wrongs make a right BLOW OFF

It's guest post Thursday! I love it when our loyal readers send us their stories of dating strife. If you have a story you'd like to post on the site, don't be shy. Maybe the below will inspire you to send one our way:

I have some basic relationship skills from dating the wrong person for 6 years and then another wrong person for 9 months...I’m still learning, but things are pretty good with the current boyfriend so I think I can be that self righteous asshole giving people relationship advice and shit. Anyway, I hope someone will find the following helpful.

I started dating my first serious boyfriend in my 20’s, it was an ugly stretched out breakup, see email below:

Maybe the kids today are wiser, so if you’re 20 something and in a serious relationship you might want to ask yourself: Is my girlfriend/boyfriend just a really good roommate who I occasionally have tepid sex with? Do I sometimes think about my best friend’s girlfriend/boyfriend who’s much cooler and better looking and has more money (this is a fair statement today because I know plenty of young successful females who date guys without money)? If “fill in the blank celebrity” invites me to his/her hotel suite would I go (sorry, because we’re in LA)? And if you’re only asking one question - can I get away with it? You have your answer. I don’t want to recommend breaking up if you’re in a happy relationship but if you have doubts, take a break, if you’re meant to be with that person, it’s meant to be. This way you guys avoid the cheating game and damaging what could have been a great friendship. (as for my first boyfriend he started dating a psycho hallmark version of me as his rebound and when they broke up he wrote me a nice follow up email saying all is forgiven but we’re not at the friendship stage yet, and I don’t know if we ever will be)

My rebound was from Eharmony, the worst idea ever. It took a month for me to know the shit was not right but I forced myself to stay in it because I thought that’s what adults are suppose to do - work it out. Talk about the relationship, invest in the relationship, believe in the relationship, talk about the relationship some more, plan a trip, fight on the trip and work it out some more. I was incredibly lucky that my wrong person didn’t mean any ill will, he was just as emotionally stunted as me and didn’t know how to call it quits. Anyway, what snapped me out of it was hearing one of my best friends tell me “you’re not the talkative and laughing person I know when you’re around him.” The most obvious signs we can’t see ourselves, so if you’re 30 something and in a serious relationship you might want to ask your friends (really good friends) what they see, and if you haven’t been hanging out with your good friends because of your relationship...I don’t need to finished this obvious statement. Oh yeah, if you’re an unhappy person to begin with then you need to find your sunshine first before getting into a relationship - golden fucking rule for everyone. Other than that go ahead and make some mistakes (use protection of course), I wouldn’t know what a good relationship feels like if it weren’t for my previous wrong matches.

1 comment:

  1. i've totally been in a relationship before that i knew was wrong, but i kind of stayed in just to get practice and pass the time, because all of my friends had boyfriends. i think it's so true that you need to get a few blah romances out of your system so you can appreciate the better ones.

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