Tuesday, July 5, 2011

the two girls, a cab, and a douche bag BLOW OFF

The best thing about having a break up blog is that friends and family members love to open up to me about their most fucked up dating experiences. The following story might be one of my favorites. I just hope I can do it justice.

So, a college student--- let's call her "Karen" is in an LDR with her boyfriend, but they have an agreement that they're both allowed to see other people while she's away at school. And the miracle of all miracles is...it's actually working out quite nicely for them. Anyway, Karen starts dating this guy at school that she really likes, but it sort of fizzles out due to the whole boyfriend thing. They both know things can only get so serious considering Karen's already in a relationship. So, they end it.

But during her last week of school, Karen decides to hit him up again. After all, it's her last chance to hook up with him before she has to go home and be monogamous again. (side note, it's good to know there are young women out there that don't put their entire lives on hold for a dude.) They exchange some texts, but don't make any solid plans to hang out. Thus, Karen goes out on the town with her friends instead. At the bar, she starts taking shots with this girl--- let's call her "Stacy" and they really hit it off. Despite having a good time with their friends, Stacy and Karen have both been texting with their respective men all night. Karen with her on again/off again crush, Stacy with her boyfriend. And after her crush texts her to come over, Karen decides to ditch her friends and meet up with him. Stacy decides to follow Karen's lead and meet up with her boyfriend.

At this point, they're both pretty drunk and decide they should share a cab (safety in numbers!)...but Karen has a change of heart. It's 1am and she just doesn't think a booty call is the best idea. Concerned for her new drunk friend and not wanting her to get raped by the cab driver, Karen makes sure Stacy knows exactly where she's headed before leaving her. Stacy can't remember how exactly to get to her boyfriend's place from the bar, so she calls him and asks for his address.

Stacy to the cabdriver: I need to go to 5700 Prairie Lane.

5700 Prairie Lane?! Karen realizes that's the same apartment building her hook up lives in. It doesn't take the girls long to realize...Stacy's boyfriend and Karen's booty call are the SAME GUY WHO THEY'VE BOTH BEEN TEXTING ALL NIGHT and who they were both about to go meet. Luckily, the story doesn't end in a threesome. And when Karen breaks the news to their guy via text, he responds with:

I am so fucked.


  1. There are some holes in this story. Sounds too sitcom-ish to be true.

  2. I know it seems that way, but without giving away the person's identity, it's someone I know really well who wouldn't make it up. It's possible the holes come from me telling the story from memory. I am proud to say, I have yet to resort to fake stories on this blog. Waiting for the writer's block to get really bad first.

  3. I'm pretty sure I heard this story from said relative. Yes, pretty unreal, but true nonetheless! The kicker is that the girl friend ended up hooking up with the guys brother that night.

  4. omg, i totally forgot about the brother part! it gets even more sitcomy!

  5. Wow, it just seems like crazy odds that the two women would just HAPPEN to be at the same bar, etc. Also, why was this idiot making plans for both of them to come to his apartment at the same time, and then saying "I am so fucked" via text when this is discovered? Or was he not aware that Stacy was headed over there, too, after he already invited Karen over (even though she ended up changing her mind)? It just seems as wacky as a bad 'Friends' episode. But I guess life CAN be nutty at times.

  6. By the way, I have recently become addicted to this site. Love it. Good to point out that no one is alone in being blown off -- it happens to the best of us!

  7. Yes, that's exactly right Marley- he didn't know Stacey was coming over. And I'm so happy you like the blog, spread the word por favor!