Thursday, July 28, 2011

We're on vacation, let's make out.


When I was a little kid I had this recurring fantasy that I would meet the boy of my dreams on vacation with my family. I was probably only eight years old at the time, but I was also obsessed with The Baby-sitter's Club and those sluts used to always meet boys on vacation. This is how it would go: we would look at each other from across the room at Circus, Circus (Reno, not Las Vegas), it would be love at first sight, and he'd win me one of those giant furry teddy bears. Then, we would be pen pals until we turned eighteen and were old enough to get married.

This fantasy never happened. And back then, I was too young to know that meeting someone on vacation was a shitty ass idea that would only lead to a bad case of STDs and a funky tan line. Or something even worse...a long distance relationship.


If you know me personally, you might be asking...."hold up, Saaaara. Aren't you marrying someone you met on vacation?" NO. First of all, we were on a business trip. Second of all, we knew each other from before. Third of all, we were in Disney World. Who goes to Disney World for a vacation?! weird people.

So, without further adieu, here's my most heartbreaking "I met a guy on vacation" story.

I was in high school. I went on a trip to this resort in the Catskills with my family (it was always Reno or the Catskills). There was this really Hot Guy who was way out of my league and thought I was a total tool. Oh yeah, and he was a dance instructor. As it turned out, his dance partner totally got knocked up by some D-bag and needed to abort the mission (if you know what I mean). But back-alley abortions weren't easy to come by back then and getting one meant she had to skip a really important dance performance. So, naturally Hot Guy asked me to fill in for her.

Wha? I couldn't dance! Initially, we had this total love-hate relationship, but then we danced in the lake and did goofy lip syncs to oldies songs and that totally bonded us. I kicked ass at the show, but that same night Hot Guy's dance partner was like gushing blood from her botched abortion. Apparently, the "doctor" showed up with a dirty knife and a folding table! Luckily, my dad was also a doctor back then, so I got him to help out. He was SO pissed at me for hanging out with the help and borrowing money from him to pay for people's abortions (Yes, I paid for for the dirty knife and the folding table). After everything was said and done, I went to visit Hot Guy in his room and he totally pushed me away. I looked him right in the eye and told him how scared I was of walking out of his room and never feeling my whole life the way I felt when I was with him. We started dancing and then we totally boned! There was also some stuff about stolen wallets, but that subplot always gets fuzzy. Anyway, at the end of the vacay Hot Guy crashed the resort's final dance and pulled me on stage to dance with him in front of everyone! And then...

he never called me.

wait, what? That didn't happen to me? That's the entire plot of Dirty Dancing? Okay, so I guess my childhood fantasies never came true. Full disclosure: none of my vacation hook ups are exciting enough to report (except the one where I end up marrying the guy. I am allowed to change my mind, Disney World totally counts!)

If you have any good or bad "we're on vacation, let's make out" stories, please send them to us at theblowoffwtf@gmail.com. All the names will be changed to protect the innocent.



sigh. they just don't make movie stars like Patrick Swayze anymore. :(

3 comments:

  1. I totally had a similar fantasy all growing up!

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  2. in myrtle beach, sc many summer's ago my older cousin (i was a young teen, she was probably in her mid-twenties) met a guy at a bar. they hung out a couple times at the beach. each of them was from neighboring towns near pittsburgh, pa. we joked that they should meet up back home. she didn't make too big a deal out of it at the time. all these years later they're happily married with two adorable kids.

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  3. that is such a fantastic story!! vacation love can actually last!

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