Tuesday, August 30, 2011

BLOW OFF greeting cards

this is basically the mission statement of the BLOW OFF

I can't believe we've never blogged about the awesome break up cards courtesy of someecards.com. Have you guys seen these? They are so clever they almost make me want to date someone just so I can dump their ass and send them one. Here are just a few of my favorites:
This is maybe the best part of life post break up...especially if you're the one doing the dumping. Suddenly, you never have to squeeze in someone else's social obligations into your calendar. No more going to their friend's birthday party or their friend's wedding or their family holidays. Your time has doubled, which if you think about it kind of means your life span has doubled.

Snap! This is perfect to send to that girl that spends half her time flirting with other men when you're out with her. Raise your hand if you wish there was a "clear history" button for our vaginas? There are a lot of traumatic memories I wish my va-jay-jay didn't have to remember. Not to mention all those terrible yeast infections we'd both like to forget.
Wow. Amazing. Have any of you guys been stuck in a relationship longer than you wanted, because your sig other had someone close to them die? You can't really be like "I'm super sorry your grandpa died. I think we should see other people." One time, when I sensed that this guy was on the verge of breaking up with me I told him my twin sister had been killed in a freak lightning storm accident. We dated for three more years after that and my parents had to pretend they had this dead daughter. We even kept a picture of me framed above the mantle and pretended it was her.
Hmmm...I'm not sure about this one. At least when you skip the whole getting to know each other part, you get some sex out of it. Plus, what is there to really get to know about a person that you can't figure out from their Facebook wall? NOTHING.

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