Wednesday, August 24, 2011

overanalysis & the BLOW OFF

It's no secret that girls have a tendency to over-analyze just about everything, especially when it comes to boys and relationships. Any time I'm filling the fiance face in on something that's going on in a friend's dating life, he tells me to stop with the over analysis. But I'm here to reveal something to all you guys out there.

We ladies over-analyze...because it's super fun.

We love it. It's right up there with chocolate and Sex and the City re-runs. Yeah, maybe we know that if we're analyzing a dating situation a bit too much, it probably means that said guy being analyzed just isn't interested... but we don't care. It's way more fun to pick apart every single intonation of everything he's ever said to us (and everything he's ever texted) over cocktails and a cheese plate. Seriously, we live for this shit. We print out emails, we print out chat conversations, we share text messages, we debate punctuation and mobile uploads on his Facebook page. Most of us don't have any fantasy sports teams to debate, so instead, we debate our version of a sports team--- made up of the guys we're dating or the guys we're married to or the guys we work with or the guys we see at the gym or the guys that live next door to us or the guys we went to high school with or the guys on OK Cupid or the guys we meet in bars or the guys we meet at bars who are bartenders or the guys we used to date or the guys we haven't met yet, but we will one day.

Girls generally talk about three things. Hot male celebrities. Their relationships. And other girls we hate. And we analyze all of it. Like, I just had a twenty minute conversation with a girl the other day about Scarlett Johansson and her dating habits. We got super deep when it came to the whole Sean Penn thing.

See the evidence pictured above. It's an email a guy sent me in 2004 that I printed out and marked up with my two best friends while out at a bar (are skills were rusty at the time). Click here for the back story. This email came days after the documentary he made was screened in New York and he invited me to attend. We hadn't seen each other in a long time and I let myself think that this could be some romantic reunion. But after the movie was over I saw him holding hands with some girl who I assumed was his European girlfriend and I bolted without saying good bye or telling him I liked the movie. After much debate and over-analysis I wrote him an email back with the subject line "bastard?" What followed was a string of confusing emails that even the best of us ladies wouldn't know how to analyze. But boy, did my girlfriends and I have a shitload of fun trying. Thank God for the "forward" button.

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