Tuesday, September 20, 2011

the ivy league BLOW OFF

A question to all the straight dudes out there. You're on a date with a girl, it's going really well and then she tells you where she went to college: Harvard. Yale. Princeton. She's an ivy league-r. And maybe you are too. Either way, for all intents and purposes this should be a total turn on. This means the girl you're on a date with is most likely smart, ambitious, hard-working, and successful. Right? So, then why have so many of you proven to be intimidated by it?

I can't speak from experience, because I didn't go to an ivy league school (Go Bears!), but I do like to surround myself with women who did, and some of those women have found that where they went to college can kind of hinder their dating life. Guys-- even smart ones-- tend to go into panic mode over it. The first time I read about this epidemic was in the 2005 NY Times the article "What's a Modern Girl to Do" written by Maureen Dowd (we apparently haven't evolved past this whole ivy league dilemma in six years). The article references a 60 Minutes segment that interviewed two Harvard Business women about their dating life: "Men, apparently, learn early to protect their eggshell egos from high-achieving women. The girls said they hid the fact that they went to Harvard from guys they met because it was the kiss of death. 'The H-bomb,' they dubbed it. 'As soon as you say Harvard Business School . . . that's the end of the conversation,' Ani Vartanian said. 'As soon as the guys say, 'Oh, I go to Harvard Business School,' all the girls start falling into them."

This bums me out. Even though the University of California bomb doesn't do quite as much damage, I don't think my smarter ivy league peers should be punished for their achievements. I'm worried we're going to get to a point where moms will encourage their daughters to pass up Harvard for a much less threatening erection shrinking state school. Let's put a stop to this madness. Boys, Men, underachievers, it's time to tap into your overconfident side. You know, the one you channel so well during sex. The one that tells you you're too hot to fuck an ugly girl. It should also start telling you you're too smart to fuck a dumb girl. I mean, isn't that the big takeaway in Good Will Hunting? Or was the takeaway not to bother going to college at all? Whatever, it doesn't matter, here's a clip.


  1. Take a walk around an Ivy League campus sometime. The amount of attractive people leaves much to be desired. 75% guarantee the H-bomb chics had mustaches. Just saying.

  2. Dude, have you been to Harvard? It's full of hot over-achieving international girls, because people apply from all over the world.

    But, frankly, if a girl is smart herself, then she shouldn't be attracted to a guy douchie enough to be threatened by a girl smarter than himself anyways (though the younger, douchier me, totally had this problem when my gf was way smarter than me).

    This sounds bad, but I think the reality is that part of the reason it's hard to find a good partner is because most people suck. You can find the guy version of the problem in the girls who won't even look at you if you don't make enough money. I think it's lame, but do I really want to be with a girl who thinks like that in the first place?

    Fact is, if it's too easy for you to meet people you're genuinely interested in, there's probably something wrong with you.


  3. I concur with O. I think there are hot smart girls out there and I also agree that it's just really hard to meet good people overall. And people who are always finding someone they like just have really low standards and are co-dependent. Also, O. Your ex gf must have been a mothereffing genius if she was smarter than you.