Monday, October 17, 2011

the big fat family BLOW OFF

I like to think of my family as the ultimate wing-family. I haven't brought a lot of guys home, but the ones that have met my parents or siblings or any one of my cousins, fall madly madly in love. They're loud and funny and nice and foreign. They make me seem joyous and exotic. Sure, they can be a little bit overwhelming, but that also makes for a great litmus test. If you can't handle 50 Iranians in your face, then you're just not the guy for me. As you can tell from the above photo, the H-bomb fell for them hook, line, and sinker (he's the tall guy in the yellow hoodie). Before we made it legal, he often "joked" that he could never break-up with me, because he'd miss my family too much. I'm not trying to brag here. I'm merely stating the fact that my family is much cooler than me and they've helped me hold on to boyfriends. They're my secret dating weapon.

But the whole family/relationship thing can get super complicated when it comes to a BLOW OFF. Like-- does breaking up with someone mean you can never talk to their family again? (pretty much). Do you have to delete them on Facebook? (Not necessarily) Do you have to stop spending holidays with them? (Yes). I guess it all just depends on how long you were dating and how close you actually got to their family members. I once had to tell a certain family member that their ex's relationship status on Facebook had been changed to "in a relationship." She was devastated. I decided it was time to hide him from my news feed.

And what happens when your parents LOVE the guy you're about to dump? A friend of mine was super nervous to tell her parents she was breaking up with her boyfriend, because they were kind of set on him becoming their son-in-law. Months after she broke the news to them, she found out her dad and the ex had been staying in touch over email. She was not okay with it. And I don't blame her. You can't have a clean break if the guy is still having a bromance with your father.

So, readers-- any good stories about breaking up with someone's family? Comment below!

Also, thanks to this amazing scene from Parenthood for inspiring this post. If you guys aren't watching this show, you're nuts.


  1. Love this! I think we've all had families of exes that we loved as much (or more) than the ex.

  2. My parents once got into an argument with each other - in Chinese! I was shooting them daggers with my eyes. Finally, I started arguing with them in Chinese that they were embarrassing the hell out of me! Imagine this poor white girl sitting on the couch quietly as we are standing around flailing our arms around wildly and yelling at each other in Chinese.

    So, back to your family. F*ck you.

  3. it's not your fault, SVB. It's not your fault.