Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"the three strikes and you're out" rule of life

Do you guys abide by the three strikes and you're out rule? This was a method my girlfriends and I tried to stick to with guys in the early stages of dating. For instance: if dude disappeared for a week and then resurfaced, rather than press the emergency stop button, we'd give him a strike. Two more strikes in the span of a month and we'd have to seriously proceed with caution or hopefully not proceed at all.

It's a good rule of thumb for guys and girls to follow. Just think about your history of relationship successes VS failures. How long did that relationship that started out all tumultuous and confusing actually last you? Two months, tops. On the flip side, if you're heading into your third year with someone...I'm guessing things felt a little seamless and easy from the get-go. Sure, maybe there were some games played at first, but no major personal affronts along the way. Like...he only calls me at two in the morning or she only orgasms when I'm wearing a clown mask.

Strikes should not be confused with red flags. If a person has no strikes against them (i.e. they haven't done anything bad to you), but they've got a lot of red flags (they don't like to travel or they laugh a little too hard at racist jokes) chances are you'll probably keep dating them. Here are just a few examples of things that should count as a full on strike when you've just started dating someone.

*A girl who only orgasms when you're wearing a clown mask. Okay, technically this is a red flag-- so never mind.

*A guy/girl who's not consistent about calling or texting or making dates. I dated a guy like this in New York. I would savor the periods of time where he was waiting for me to get back to him, because I knew the second I replied to that text or voice mail, I would be stuck in dating purgatory yet again. This person lacks common courtesy when it comes to you. Steee-rike!

*A guy or girl who gives you the "I don't want anything serious" speech a few dates in. This totally counts as a strike and not a red flag. First of all, it's presumptuous. Second of all, I've used this line before...on people I'm not interested in. So, this person just doesn't like you or is trying to tell you that they will most likely not end up liking you. I consider that a personal affront.

*Anyone who is so obsessed with their friends that all of your dates consist of you meeting up with him/her and their social circle. This is a strike and not just a red flag, because it means this person doesn't think you're worth their alone time.

*Anyone who is vegan. This is a personal affront on your palette. Okay, I'm just kidding. I went vegan for three weeks and I liked it. Plus, I'm really hoping JKeithVanRappin writes a post about vegan speed dating soon.

*Anybody who makes a date with you and then totally stands you up. This actually counts as two strikes. A good friend of mine waited at her apartment for a guy to pick her up for a date for three hours. He finally called to tell her he'd just woken up and slept through their date. The silver lining to this story is that she was totally not into him and his behavior gave her the perfect out.

Any other dating strikes you guys want to share? Cause if we're going to be totally honest, I'm not all that interested in hearing them. Soliciting comments for your blog is totally lame and desperate so, please spare me and do not comment on this post. Don't do it. I said DO NOT comment on this post. I mean, seriously, what part of do not comment on this post don't you understand? No means NO! I triple dog dare you to comment.

9 comments:

  1. So, so true.

    And Sleeping through a date you made with someone could even count as three strikes, EASY.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And anyone who talks incessantly during a screening at a movie theater. I dated a guy once who wouldn't shut up during a really good Fincher film and it was our last date.

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  3. "*Anyone who is vegan. This is a personal affront on your palette. Okay, I'm just kidding. I went vegan for three weeks and I liked it. Plus, I'm really hoping JKeithVanRappin writes a post about vegan speed dating soon."

    alright, you successfully called me out. i'll get cracking on it. you know what? vegan speed dating works!

    ReplyDelete
  4. yay, cannot wait for this post! love a good speed dating success story.

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  5. I want to try vegan speed dating so please, do tell, J. Keith van Rappin (excellent name, btw)

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  6. I use to follow the 3 strikes & you're out rule, it was a fair way of giving people a chance.
    After repeated Strikes & No consequences
    to go with them, I have since modified it to One strike and your out.
    3 Strikes allows people to take advantage 2 more times than we want them to.

    As many red flags, but only one strike.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I use to follow the 3 strikes & you're out rule, it was a fair way of giving people a chance.
    After repeated Strikes & No consequences
    to go with them, I have since modified it to One strike and your out.
    3 Strikes allows people to take advantage 2 more times than we want them to.

    As many red flags, but only one strike.

    ReplyDelete
  8. very helpful and useful dating article. I really liked it
    I have found this very interesting
    http://www.angelreturn.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. After years of rejection experience...or even dating someone for a few months, I've basically move the "I don't want anything serious" comment from women to automatically move from a strike to an automatic out. Seems every time I have heard this it means that its over...they have someone lined up already and its not me. Its basically another version of "your a nice guy, can we still be friends." Just move on...when they say that...they are not worth your time and energy.

    ReplyDelete