Monday, November 21, 2011

the other woman is a trashy ho BLOW OFF

Last week, news broke that Ashton and Demi were splitting up. And you didn't have to have a doctorate in psycho-analysis to read between the lines of her PR statement. Ashton cheated. Case closed. But can we all take a moment of silence to reflect on the woman he cheated with? Not that it makes much of a difference, but she's the one wearing the captain's hat and the animal print fur something or other.

This chick might as well have "if you are famous and married and have sex with me I will sell my story to Us Weekly" tattooed on her forehead. There's no way Kutcher thought she wouldn't update her Facebook status with "just had unprotected sex with Kelso" (unless of course he's done it before and it's stayed quiet. Duh, Saaara). All of that aside, why is the other woman always a trashy ho? Guys don't want to be married to a five dollar hooker, but everyone once in awhile, they want to be inside one? Or is it because these dudes (Tiger Woods, Jesse James, John Edwards, et al) secretly want to get caught. Do they have the same syndrome as the Silicon Valley Bachelor? You know-- instead of cutting bait, they'll just do something really terrible and force their significant other's hand.

I know what you want to say. Saaara, it's not that deep. Men just have no will power when it comes to sex. Come on! I refuse to believe things like this happen merely because men are physically incapable of saying no to sex. If I have the will power to say no to eating a bacon wrapped hot dog everyday, then I truly believe men can stay away from overwaxed/overused vaginas they aren't married to. I also know for a fact that this isn't just a famous guy epidemic. I know of regular dudes who have also cheated with slutterinas. I'd like to think it's because only trashy women would knowingly have sex with a married guy, but I also know some classy smart (lonely) girls who've done it.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that when it comes to cheating, us ladies are better at it. Maybe it's because we've seen The English Patient one too many times to count ("every night I cut my heart out, but in the morning it was full again." Sigh), but we don't waste our affairs on guys in Ed Hardy. Like for instance, when Rachel Wiesz cheated on Darren Aronofsky, she wasn't having sex with The Situation. She was making wild passionate love with Daniel Craig. It doesn't make it right, but it sure as hell makes it better.

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