Monday, December 5, 2011

BLOW OFF mythbusters: relationships should be passionate & intense

I've never been all that into the whole high intensity bit when it comes to relationship. There are people out there (mostly women, sorry but it's true) who look for relationships that consist of clothes ripping, hearts beating out of their chest, butterflies spilling out of their mouths, can't think, can't eat, can't sleep kind of love. I don't get it. Maybe those kinds of emotions can sustain a relationship for a few months, but they always fizzle out eventually and they always end with someone committing suicide or going to jail. Being in love doesn't have to be intense and deep and soul-gazing at all times. As far as I'm concerned, that kind of true love is a big effing myth.

For me, true love is the kind of love that doesn't give you panic attacks or tunnel vision. It's more of the mellow/comfortable/sane variety. And that doesn't mean it's necessarily boring or passion-less or even easy.

Don't take my word for it. Just ask Anne Hathaway. She was in love with a rich Italian dude who wooed her with yachts and private jets and super expensive jewelry. She totally let him sweep her off her feet (even though he had a really chubby face!) and then it turned out...he was a total fraud who got sentenced to four years in prison. Now she's engaged to a super normal looking white mellow hipster guy who wears knit sweaters. See, what I mean? Intense = fraud. Normal looking white mellow hipster guy who wears knit sweaters= true love. The moral of this story is steer clear of guys with names like Raffaello and stick to guys with names like Adam.

So, don't worry if you feel like your relationship is filled with mundane moments like picking a movie On Demand and wearing matching hoodies. That's actually a good thing. Trust me, you don't want the screaming fights, the emotionally confused text messages, and the tear-filled orgasms. In the words of an Occupy Wall Street protest sign that "shit is fucked up and bullshit". Instead, just try finding someone you can fart around. That's when you truly know what you have is real.


  1. I feel this way about people who think you have to be with someone that you can have super important and meaningful conversation with 24/7. Sometimes I think comfortable silence is a good tell also.

  2. Seriously! 95% of the things bry and i talk about are TV shows and what we ate that day.