Monday, December 19, 2011

the male version of me BLOW OFF

It wasn't until after the third break up with my first boyfriend that I actually got up the nerve to try and date other guys. Well, that's not true. I'd actually been doing an awesome job of avoiding it completely until one day, my good friend, Pam, said, "I have someone I want you to meet." Of course, this was after my failed attempt to hook up with strangers on a weekly basis, so I was all for it. I even got excited when she said that he was the "male version" of me. You see, I'd always believed in the mantra, "opposites attract" since theoretically it creates balance within the relationship and has the potential for producing well rounded superhuman offspring. Yet, after a tumultuous relationship with my polar opposite, I thought that hanging out with a more like minded individual would do me some good.

So then, I met boy sassypants (BSP). We were introduced at a brunch (where we both wore v-neck t-shirts because they're casual but just a bit more interesting than crew) and hit it off. I mean, how could we not? We were so alike! And I'm not just talking about personalities, we even looked similar: short and ethnically ambiguous. After our set-up he messaged me on Facebook saying that he was glad to have met me and that he would like to hang out again soon after. I was impressed. A follow up featuring direct emotions and initiating a second date? This was it. I loved BSP; he was just as awesome as I am!

Over the course of a few weeks we went on several dates that went extremely well. We got along great and had so much in common! However, something was off. Being that this was the only real dating I'd done in college, I encouraged myself to be patient and open to the idea of building chemistry. I mean, these things take a while, right? Yet, after spending a fair amount of time together, I got to wondering why I wasn't more pumped on BSP. He was all the things I'd wished of my ex: thoughtful, outgoing and chivalrous; so why wasn't I more into this? Didn't I want to be with someone more like me? And then came the epiphany. I'd always joked that the male version of myself would be a total flamer, wait...is BSP gay?! No, of course not. But he did compliment my shoes, speak in a very animated fashion, tell a friend how fabulous her boobs looked in a dress, only drink blueberry Smirnoff and once went off on the most adorable Mickey and Minnie his-and-her aprons he saw at Disneyland that he'd have loved to replicate for an in-town sewing contest if only he'd had his sewing machine...

Immediately, I called Pam.

"Pam, did you ever get the gay vibe from BSP?"

"Honestly?"

"You set me up with a gay guy?!"

"No, no. I thought he was gay when I first met him, but I've confirmed with his best friend* that he's not." *Who was a girl.

Still hopeful and open minded, I continued to see BSP with the idea of proving to myself that he wasn't gay. Yet, this didn't go on for too long since I deemed our horrible make out session during an episode of Chelsea Lately the ultimate deal breaker, although it did follow a viewing of The Hangover. I really have no idea if BSP was gay or not, but in the end, I just wasn't that sexually attracted to him. I eventually told BSP that with summer approaching, I didn't want to get involved in anything long distance, even though he did volunteer to visit me when he was up in the bay area for the Lady Gaga concert.

1 comment:

  1. I think all signs point to gay. If I ever met the male version of me, we would probably fight all the time and give each other one word answers when we're pissed. it wouldn't be pretty. and he's probably gay too.

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