Thursday, December 29, 2011

New Year's Eve BLOWS!

What's everyone doing for New Year's Eve? Personally, I think it's the worst holiday since Valentine's Day. And not just because both were the subject of horrible movies. I hate the feeling if my New Year's sucks, then my entire year is going to be a shit show. Usually at least one thing goes wrong.

For Y2K, I was home from college and going to a party where most of my high school friends would be....which meant I was going to see my high school boyfriend who I hadn't talked to since our break up on Halloween. I assured all of our friends that there would be no weirdness. And there wasn't. He and I spent most of the night making out in the bathroom. It felt comfortable at the time, but I regretted it the next day. I was so proud of myself for getting two months of distance from the guy and the NYE kiss just opened up a whole new can of worms. When he showed up at my dorm room on Valentine's Day with a ring from the movie The Crow, I had to tell him it was really over.

Then, there was NYE 2001. I was at yet another party with high school friends. I started hanging out with some redheaded guy who graduated a year before me and we slipped off into my friend's parents room to make out...and we got walked in on by my high school boyfriend. He was really torn up about it and I had to chase him down and tell him...dude, it's really really really over.

And then, NYE 2004. I was visiting SF from New York with my sister and hoping the guy I dated two years earlier at Berkeley would meet me at a party. I remember at the time feeling like the party totally sucked, because everyone there was 30. Oh, to be young and in my twenties again. The dude never showed up and while my sister and I were sitting on the stoop of the house, we saw some poor guy get jumped. I panicked and froze, but my sister screamed at the top of her lungs and scared the guys off. I guess even though I was sad my old bf didn't show up to the party, there was a silver lining: the guy who got his ass beat had a way worse New Year's than me.

NYE 2005 was pretty sweet. I was visiting San Francisco again and this time I was on cloud nine, because college bf and I had gone out to dinner the night before to "catch up" and he totally seduced me. I didn't realize at the time it was just to make himself feel better over another girl dumping him, but whatever. He moved to New York a month later and told me he just wanted to be friends. Naturally, I told him never to speak to me again.

Last year, my sister and brother in law came to Los Angeles and we went out to a nice dinner. What could go wrong? How about me having too much to drink and snapping at my sister for not wanting to come to a party with us...even though she was nine weeks pregnant. Damn wine pairing!

This year, I plan to minimize the risk of having a crappy New Year's simply by doing nothing. the H bomb and I are staying in and cooking dinner...mostly because I feel bad leaving our puppy alone at midnight. I want to ring in 2012 with her. I know it's pathetic and makes me seem really old and domesticated, but to make up for it I plan to get really drunk, take off all my clothes (except for my favorite pair of granny underwear), and dance on the coffee table to 1999 by Prince, while of course changing the lyrics to 2012. At least I know I'll have someone to kiss and that I won't be constantly staring at the door wondering if some ex-boyfriend is going to show up and tell me he still loves me. Although...that would be super crazy and weird if that happened. Shit, now I really want it to.

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