Monday, January 23, 2012

RIP: Heidi Klum & Seal

I woke up on Saturday morning to find a message in my Facebook inbox from my friend LK, informing me that Heidi Klum and Seal are allegedly filing for divorce.

My first reaction: For reals?

My second reaction: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

You all know every time a celebrity couple breaks up, a little piece of my heart gets moldy, but if this divorce turns out to be true, I kind of feel like Heidi Klum and Seal had it coming.

I mean, these two were the BIGGEST love flaunters in the world. They have spent the entire course of their relationship going out of their way to gush about how happy they are and how great their sex life is and their marriage can’t even last six years? The first time I heard the phrase “happy wife, happy life” was when Seal uttered it on Oprah a few years back. Not to mention these two are known for getting married EVERY SINGLE year. We’re talking a full on vow renewal ceremony. It’s obnoxious and in your face—but also kind of genius. Because unless you’re a Kardashian, big lavish weddings should make a marriage last at least a couple of years. Who wants to get divorced after forcing loved ones to get all dressed up and buy you presents?

I guess even an annual anniversary wedding wasn’t enough to sustain Heidi and Seal. And divorce is always sad for the kids. So, what could have possibly gone wrong with our generations John Lennon and Yoko (just typing that made me laugh). I’m not buying irreconcilable differences—that always sounds like, we just couldn’t agree on where to vacation, so we decided to call it quits. Something REALLY bad had to happen for these two to split, because they have to know it’s way more embarrassing than your average celebrity break up. Like Heidi walked in on Seal in bed with a donkey.

I think the takeaway from this particular BLOW OFF is that those annoying couples who are always going on and on and on and on about how in love and happy they are? They are so totally full of shit.

No comments:

Post a Comment